What's red and smells like cherries. Cherries

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Roses are der Violets are eulb I am dyslexic

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What's worst then a road kill? Multiple road kils.

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What did the autistic man say to the woman? I have autism

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Did you hear about the guys who were going to France? Well they are not going anymore.

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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What kind of key can unlock a banana? Basically any key that is sharp enough.

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Why did the paperboy fall off his bike? I threw a fridge at him because he was a ginger.

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knock knock! who's there? me.(walks away...)

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an irishman walks past a bar a.w. j.p.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it was diagnosed with cancer and didn't want to live any more

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what do you call a man with no arms no legs cancer and down syndrome? you call him stephen because his name is stephen

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Why was Helen Keller depressed? She was deaf and blind.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What poops,smells bad,burps,wears diapers,farts,and screams spank me with a bib on That Depends what you do on saturday nights

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An airplane flies due north at 100 m/s through a 30 m/s cross wind blowing from the east to the west. Determine the resultant velocity of the airplane.

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Why did the two children go sledding? Because they liked to sled.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Q: Why can't Carl drive? A: Carl is a stone

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A man named Hank, from Idaho takes a trip to Michigan. When he arrives, he rents a house and starts a meth lab. Hank is spending 7 years in jail. Hank was charged with stealing.

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How do Chinese parents name their children? With deep thought and consideration about a thoughtful, respectful and honorable name.

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Roast Beef is a solid and Pea Soup is a liquid

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what did the lesbian do with the other lesbian? played badminton

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Where does a one-legged waitress work? Wherever she can get good health insurance.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops