A guy walked into a restaurant. He sat down and had a lovely meal left the restaurant got in his car and went home. The End

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Why did the black man break up with his white girlfriend? Because he didn't love her anymore.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are yellow Grass is green

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ive been a naughty girl, and i need something to plug my hole. call or text me;) 1 (802) 299-5281

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A 16 year old boy and girl have unprotected sex. The girl becomes pregnant and decides to keep the baby. They both drop out of high school, get lots of government cheese, and the boy holds a steady job as manager at the local mcdonalds for the rest of his life.

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What did the boy ask the ice cream man? Can I have some ice cream?

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why didn't bob die? because he liked his hair just the way it was.

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What's long and black? A long and black object.

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i googled who gives a fuck my name wasn't in the results

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How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Through forceful action.

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blonde: your cute Gangster: wanna go back to my crib blonde: you mean you can go back in time?

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Girl fight: Teachers take them to dq Boy fight: Lunch and recess in the library.

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What did the cookie ask the glass of milk? Will you wash me down

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boy and girl are flipping a coin, coin lands on heads, boy: get down bitch

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To momma's missing so many teeth it looks like her tongues in jail

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A man walks into a bar wearing large and baggy pants. The bartender asks him, "Why the large, baggy pants?" The man replies, "Because they're comfortable."

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Q: How do you turn a purple panda into a red panda A: Feed it grey poop and because it tasted so bad it got so mad it turned red.

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Why did the black women sing to the left to the left? Answer: because black people have no rights

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roses are red, violets are blue, i dont like to rhyme, but i do like to poo.

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? The chain broke.

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There's a football player who walks into a bar and sees a gay guy. The gay guy says, "So you're a football player, right?" The football player says, "Yes." The gay guy says, "I have a game of football myself. It's called fart football. It's where you drink a mug of beer in less than five seconds and then you drop your pants and fart for the extra point." The gay guy goes first. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds and farts. The football player goes. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds then he drops his pants and before he farts, the gay guy says, "BLOCK THAT KICK! BLOCK THAT KICK!"

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A guy, arriving at the pearly gates of Heaven, asks St. Peter "Why did I die? Why me." St. Peter replies: "You died the same way everyone does. Lack of oxygen to the brain."

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1: Knock, knock 2: Go away!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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