Why can't Helen Keller drive Umm, She's dead

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Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a car and died

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Why did the stoner cross the road? He didn't. He was stoned

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What`s the difference between a dead baby and a pencil? I don`t keep a pencil in my backpack

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? It had cancer.

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Q.What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, no head, and no blood in his body? A.Dead.

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Who's obsessed with death and love to make jokes about it? The majority of the contributors in this site.

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How do you torture helen keller? Waterboard her.

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A jewish man runs into a wall with an erection. He broke his nose.

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Why did the... Timmy, your mother and I are both tired.

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Get Outta Here We're Closed!

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the awkward moment when a fat person says they are fat

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A duck flies into a bar. The bartender allows it to stay because it turns into a beautiful swan. The goose then lays a golden egg and the bartender stares in awe as a giant bean stalk grows out of the egg. He's ecstatic and really glad he let the flamingo stay with all the wonderful colors and magic going on.

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Q: Why didn't the dirty man jump into the shower? A: Because he spotted the potential danger to jump into a slippery shower and proceeded with caution.

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Your boat breaks down on the highway. How many squirrels does it take to eat a bannana? Squirrels do not eat bannanas but it would probably take a monkey 1.5 milliseconds.

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knock knock! whos there? me! me who? thats right! whats right? meehoo! thats what i want to know! whats what you want to know? me who? yes, exactly! exactly what? yes, i have an exactlywatt on a chain! exactly what on a chain? yes! yes what? no, exactlywatt! thats what i want to know! i told you--exactlywatt! exactly what? yes! yes what? yes, its with me! whats with you? exactlywatt--thats whats with me! me who? yes! Go away! knock knock.....

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Do you know what's sad about 4 black men driving off a cliff in a convertible? They were my friends.

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That awkward momment when there is no Candy in the Van... <3

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why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

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What happened to the homosexual jiggalo? He ended up getting aids from having anal sex with various men which is not the best idea because the anus where poop comes from.

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What did the fridge say to the watermelon? Nothing.

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How do you get santa to stop delivering presents? Kill your parents.

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Why would Obama like to be ahead of some guy's poll and bent over at the same time? Because being ahead in someone's poll is encouraging news for his election campaign and bending over is part of the exercise program he uses to stay in shape.

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? What are you doing here?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops