What's the difference between a hundred dead babies and a porsche? A porsche is a car.

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Why did the man answer his cell phone at 3 AM in the morning? Because his phone was ringing and was probably waiting for an important phone call

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What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

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Your mmma is so stupid when we said the drinks were in the house. She went looking for them!

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What's worst than a worm in your apple? Finding your mom in a porno.

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Why is it funny when dogs talk ? Answer: they don't

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Why did the long term smoker suddenly stop smoking? Because he had a heart attack.

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Q: why did the black man kill the white man? A: he was clinically depressed, mentally unstable, and had a grudge against the white man that had nothing to do with his race.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue if something smells bad, its gotta be you! Roses are red this much is true but violets are purple not f***ing blue!

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Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

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Q - What do you call a bunch of white people on a bench? A - The nba - Cool Bean

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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Yo mama so fat - - That your dad left her, and it's tearing your family apart

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why did the chicken cross the road? Because there were no traffic.

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Why can't Heller Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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What happens when you cut a body in half? An erection.

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Why is cancer a big thing? -It has grown after the diagnoses

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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There are two cowboys in the kitchen. One says to the other, "I feel at 'home on the range.'" To which the other replies, "Is that because of your extensive culinary background?" The first cowboy breaks down in tears because he realizes he's not pursuing what he truly loves.

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Whats wrong Nero? What happened? Please pick up the phone, I am trying to call you, but it just goes from dialing to changing tunes, please do not be upset with me, what did I do wrong? I thought we had an understanding, please just pick up the phone, if you already have my number and all you got nothing to lose...

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why did the Chicken Cross the Road? Why must you question a Chicken's motives to Cross the Road?

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A Pool Table.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, He cracked his skull and died on impact. He will be missed.

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Why did the man buy his wife expensive flowers? It was their anniversary and he is a faithful husband.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops