Roses are dead Violets are dead I'm a terrible gardener.

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What do friends and trees have in common? They will fall over if you hit them repeatedly with an axe.

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An under aged girl walks into a bar. She couldn't have done so without a fake ID and early development.

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Why didn't Hitler go to heaven? He killed millions of jews and was an atheist.

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A blind man who spoke English and a deaf man who used sign language went to a bar together. Although they didn't communicate they had a wonderful time.

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Q:Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? A: Because he got hit by a bus.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Bill Bill who? Bill your neighbor. Can I have some flour?

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Why did the platypus have no friends? Platipi are antisocial creatures by nature.

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Why did the girl with a striped ball fall over? She was a victim of a drive-by shooting.

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How does Helen Keller play the piano? With one hand.. She needs the other hand to sing.

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because the Nazis were on the brink of losing the war and Berlin was shortly to be captured by Soviet forces.

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Whats blue and white and red all over? The American flag

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What is a pedophile's favorite thing about twenty-six year olds? There are 20 of them.

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What's yellow and cant walk? The Sun

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What was the racist kid's least favorite ice cream flavor? Chocolate for an unrelated reason.

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knock knock. who's there? Kony. Kony who? Kony says:" Uganda be abducted"

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Haikus usually make sense, but sometimes they don't refrigerator.

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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Guest: "Why does your dog sit there and watch me eat?" Hotel Host: "I can't imagine, unless it's because you have the plate he usually eats from."

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A man walks into a bar, the other man ducks.

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What did God say when he made his first black guy? Oh no I burned one! :)

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What happened to the boat that sank? Everyone on it died

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What happened to the boy with cancer? He died.

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Why did the boat sink I shot a missile at it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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