Wuts brown and smelly? Brown smelly stuff.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Did you fall from heaven? Because I seem to notice fractures to your knee, spine and a possible permanent risk of poor posture.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Whats black on top and white on bottom? R a p e.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's the difference between a goat and a cherry? You can't put a goat on top of your ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Your mama is so fat but she is also a very kind and friendly person so her weight doesn't bother me at all,

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why is 16 scared of 17? Because 17, 18, 19 *crickets*

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a giraffe without a neck? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What rhymes with car? Not kangaroo

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas?? - Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -12

you know what? CHICKEN BUTT. butt of chicken ahahahaa

thumb_up thumb_down -12

there was this kid who was perfectly well-adjusted, had most normal things a person needs and a generally good life. what did he get for Christmas. non-hodgkins lymphoma.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How did the girl cross the road? --she didn't, she died trying because she was blind and didn't see the sign that said "Don't Walk"

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Did you hear about the constipated mathematician who broke his calculator? He went to the shops and bought some laxatives and a new calculator.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

can you pass the soap?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what came first the chicken or the chips

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Whats worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Finding out that that apple was the tip of a dick

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did Jerald heat up pizza? Because he was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind, which both make it very unsafe for her to drive.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what has two lags and red all over? :a cat in a chinies restrunt...

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench can support a family.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are taking a chemistry exam. They each get a solid B on the test.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A frog hops into a bar. The bartender asks "What can I get you to drink?". The frog hops out and the bartender realizes he is talking to animals because he has anxiety issues and all of his friends leave him and he spends every night crying and waiting to be loved...so he shoots himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops