What's brown and sticky? A stick

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What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

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What did the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. Jewish people celebrate Hanukkah

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What's worse than getting a bruise? AIDS.

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Roses are red, violetsvare blue, I have aids, so do you

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A man died. What was his name? Phil. His name was Phil.

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What's black and white and red all over? Half a black face and half a white face after going through a blender

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Why did the elephant get on the roof? To jump in the pool.

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What did the paraplegic say when he walked? Nothing, paraplegics can't walk.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Canoe Well one is a human, beating heart, and the other is a small boat you row in

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What's worst that cancer? Murder porn

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ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSUCKMYDICK

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How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb.

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What do you get when you cross a hooker with five shots of tequila? Herpes

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How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, MAKE ME EAT LEMONS, I ATE U!

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How tall is a tree? Taller than the ground

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what will hit the ground first an apple or Obama The apple, obama was stopped by a rope

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. The chicken was run over by a truck before he could get to the other side

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What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur? I don't know, dinosaurs have been extinct for 200 million years.

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Why didn't jimmy get to eat his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

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Simon: Knock Knock Alfredo: Who's there? Simon: Wire Alfredo: Wire Who SImon? Simon: Wire are you asking me this!!!!

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How does God choose who goes to heaven? I'm just kidding, there's no God.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops