How do you get the pesky neighborhood kids off your front lawn? Molest them.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why did the Mexican eat a octopus because he was hungry would die if he didn't

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q) What is black, white, and red all over? A) A zebra that just became the kill of a hungry carnivore

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why can't Larry drive? Because he doesn't have his license, and his temps expired!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why didn't the chicken cross the road? It was very unhealthy, and had a heart attack attempting too

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why did Sarah fall of the swing... she had no arms Knock Knock.... Whos there .... Not Sarah

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What is long, hard, and full of seamen? a school bus, if you consider children to be seamen

thumb_up thumb_down -13

There was a man with a job and kids. One day he came home from his job and went to sleep. He never woke up because it turns out he had a heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A pirate walks into a bar with a wheel on his crotch, and the bartender says, "What's that?" and the pirate says, "A deadly tumor."

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Pick a number between 2 and 8. Now multiply that number by 9. Now add the 2 digits of that answer together. (example 18 is 1+8) Now subtract that answer number by 5. Now choose the letter below that corresponds to that answer. 1 = A 2 = B 3 = C 4 = D 5 = E 6 = F Now pick a country that starts with that letter. Now pick an animal where the first letter of the animals name is the last letter of the country's name. Now think of a color where the first letter of the colors name is the last letter of the animals name. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Are you thinking of an orange kangaroo from Denmark?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Today, I was thirsty so I got in my kitchen and took a bottle of juice out of my refrigirator, I realised the bottle was empty, so I immediatly took a walk to the store and bought another bottle.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

whats the fastest way to be murdered tell your wife your cheating on her

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a place full of large volumes of random, unwanted knowledge? The usersub on this site.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I used to have an ugly,black and disabled man as a friend. However, he had a very nasty personality so we are no longer friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Little Anny fell on a sidewalk. Why isn't she crying? 'Cause I've thrown her out off the tenth floor.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Dig Bick Your dislexic

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Opinions are like assholes. I'm not sure how they are alike, but that seems to be the general consensus.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man didn't feel well so he went to the toilet. He had explosive diahrria, then felt better.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

An Aussie, a Mexican and an Asian walk into a bra. You read that wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Sometimes you have to stop and smell the roses. Unless they are next to the trashcan where you put your little sisters diapers

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why is 16 scared of 17? Because 17, 18, 19 *crickets*

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How did the girl cross the road? --she didn't, she died trying because she was blind and didn't see the sign that said "Don't Walk"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

can you pass the soap?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

the joke below will not be as funny as this one.... hahaha other joke i just ruined you

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops