What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

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Q: How do you keep a carnival fish for more than a week? A: Place it in formaldehyde when you get home

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Where did Sally go when the bomb went off? Everywhere.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to, like any other chicken

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A man has a meeting with his doctor and his doctor says "I have some bad news, you have cancer and you have alzheimer's," to which the man replies... "Well at least I don't have cancer." This is an example of a fallacy claim.

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Did you fall on your head when you were a baby Oh, Im very sorry.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Frontbut-

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I'm so stupid that I'm posting on Anti Jokes!

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Yo mamma's so fat she has her own zip code!!! :) Well... the actual reason is she is filthy rich and her house is so big that it takes up a bunch of room, and now that im talking about her i really wanna be her even though shes fat!

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What did the grape do when it got stepped on? Released some juice and burst its skin.

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Q:Whats worse than stubbing your toe? A: Watching a terrorist saw your dads arm off.

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Why didn't the woman cross the road? She died from breast cancer.

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What did the asian do with his homework? finish it. as is expected from children his age.

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A man walks into a bar with his dog. He orders 14 shots and proceeds to drink. For each shot he takes, he feeds one to his dog, who accepts it willingly. The bartender says "Well I've never seen anything stranger. Why did you order 14 shots, and why are you giving half to your dog." "Well," says the man, "my 14 year old dog was diagnosed with a fatal heart condition. I cannot afford to put him down, so the shots should kill him." The dog then dies.

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Did you hear the one about the dead guy? Apparently he was no longer living.

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Why did the two black men break into a bank with guns? It was being robbed by a white man and they were police officers.

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What did Tom see after taking a much need long nap? The ceiling.

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Hey I Just Met You And This Is Crazy But I Am Pregnant And It's Yhur Baby ~GotDemChoozen

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I felt like kicking something.

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Why was the woman worried? She was coughing up blood

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What is a hammer? It's not a screwdriver

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NO ONE LIKES RANGAS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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