My dad died on Mothers Day, my mother was happy. Actually Iied, we were all sad.

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http://cache.deadspin.com/assets/resources/2008/04/Deer_mating2.jpg

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Why didn't the jew eat pork? He was vegetarian.

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homosexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual pandas just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homosexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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what will you never loose if you play world of warcraft your verginity

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A man walks into a bar. He is now passed out on the ground. (TD)

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What did the fat man say to everyone? Hey everyone! I am i fat man!

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A man with no legs walks into a bar. Just kidding...

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? It had cancer.

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How did the guy fall off the roof? He was pushed

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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Who's obsessed with death and love to make jokes about it? The majority of the contributors in this site.

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What is the difference between a black person and a pizza? Nothing, they both taste like chicken

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how did the fat man survive the plane crash? he didn't, he died like everyone else.

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Have you seen Stevie wonders new house? Neither has he.

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Why did the fat guy pick up a noodle from the floor with his buttcheeks? He felt like pasta.

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A Muslim man gets onto a transatlantic airliner. All the other passengers are privately nervous, but no one mentions it.

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what did blonde say to the square? ur a square which is comprised of four equal sides and always have four lines of symmetry.

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Whats bigger than 'burger king'? A. burger

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What do you call a black person who puts out fires? a firefighter

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Evicted.

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I once had a friend We had our arguments, and went our separate ways.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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