What do you call a lot of goose in one place? geese

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What do you call most people over 50 who aren't married. Divorced

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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How do you double any amount of cash? Stack it up and fold it in half.

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You Scream, I Scream, The cops come, It's awkward

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Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they stink.

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What do you call a guy with no arms or legs laying on your driveway? You call him by his name

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What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Why is there a man painted green throwing forks at me

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Sticks and stones may break my bones because I have osteoporosis

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Why did the little girl go to the hospital?........................Beacuse she fell when trying to steal cookies out of the cookie jar on top of the fridge.

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An Asian, white, and a black man decide to play Russian Roulette. The Asian goes first and shoots himself in the head. The white man picks up the gun for his turn. The black man runs down the street screaming. Cops see him and the white man holding the gun, both are sent to jail for life for the murder of their friend.

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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what do you call a redneck virgin? a seven year old that can run faster than her brothers.

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10% of car thieves are left-handed. 80% of chimpanzees are left-handed. Therefore, if your car is stolen, there's an 8% chance a chimpanzee is responsible.

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what is worse than gay sex wiping your ass with sandpaper

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i'm here at a school my friend is eats a pool fuck yeh

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A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

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What's worse than getting raped by a bear? Getting raped by two bears.

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Why did the squirrel fall out the tree? It was dead Why did the second squirrel fall out the tree? It was stapled to the first squirrel Why did the the third squirrel fall out the tree? Peer pressure Why did the fourth squirrel fall out the tree? It thought it was a game Why did the tree fall over? It thought it was a squirrel Why did the postman die? He got hit in the head by four squirrels and a tree

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Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus Knock Knock Who's there? Not Jimmy -thatcooltyguy

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A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks: "why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus being incapable of comprehending the complexities of conversation said nothing, and shit all over the floor.

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Why did the man kill his friend? How am I supposed to know

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Why did Jimmy fall of a building without a paracute? Because he lost a bet.

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roses are red violets are blue some poems are good and some don't

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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