Roses are red Olives are Black come to my and will smoke some crack

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Knock Knock No solicitors

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Why did she fall again? Because somebody put her back on. Why wasn't she able to hug her dad? Because she has no dad.

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What does a blond do when she stops at a red light? She gets arrested.

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Roses are red, violets are blue; So give me head, or I queue you!

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I want some pudding. but I didn't have my meat. how can I have pudding?

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knock knock who's there? I'm here.

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How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? depends on how thin you can slice them.

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A 14 year old boy's mother walks into his room whilst he is naked. The boy requests for his mother to leave; so she apologizes and leaves as the whole incident was rather embarrasing.

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Going up to someone and saying, "my mom is dead and my dad tryd killing himself, can i have a ride home?"

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Last Christmas I gave you my heart. I am still waiting for a transplant.....

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was stapled to the head of a penis that belonged to an asian man

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This is the funniest joke in the world: Just joking!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His whole family killed themselves.

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Why does Beyonc'e sing ''to the left to the left''? Because black women have no rights.

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What has 2 wheels and looks like a bike? A bike.

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Whats a six letter name for black people? Friend.

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A man goes to the store to buy a kitten. While there, he decides to buy two because he is feeling particularly hungry.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him and got better.

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why did logan cross the road? to get raped by his father again

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How did the cookie monster die? Diabidies

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If your fighting an octopus on mars how many lamps does it take to repair a dog house? Nine because a toaster cannot ride a bicycle.

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Whats black and white and red all over? A chopped up dalmation...

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Why did the parents tell their adopted son to go to bed? He was awake long after he should've been, according to the rules in their household.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops