Women's Professional _________

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a white guy, a black guy, and a latino guy all walk into a bar. The white man explains how his family is in turmoil because of his alcholism, the black guy shares his affection for crack, and the latino man explains why he shouldnt be here due to illegal immigration. They all hate their lives. Quack

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What did the plane say to the world Trade Center on 9/11? Nothing a plane is an object therefore cannot talk.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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why did the platypus fall out of a tree it couldnt even climb up the tree

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Knock! Knock! Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock! Knock! Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock! Knock! Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad this joke is over?

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What do you call a man with an arrow to the knee? An ambulance because he's got a serious leg injury right there.

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why did superman die, aids he got from wonder women

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The sword that kills, the sword that gives life.

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A man and a Rabbit are in a bar , the Rabbit looks at the man and says, none of this is real.

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Two bees are flying around a flower. "Hey," says one bee, "you ever think about the meaning of all of this? I mean, isn't there more to life than pollinating and satisfying the Queen?" The other bee replies, "No."

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Why do cow say moo? Because you touch yourself at night

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Go online. why? To get a quote. why? To save money. why? Because we said so! Parenting can be hard. See how easy it is to save with GEICO.

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Why aren't dragons real? Because if any animal were to breath fire (let alone have a gland that produced it), they would cease to live for their necks would scorch from the inside out.

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why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was taped to the first one why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? it didn't

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How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Depends on the car.

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Why do Asian men love noodles? Noodles are delicious!

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Get a giant scorpion to rape him.

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Why'd the dead man cross the road? He didn't, he was dead, therefore incapable of doing anything at all.

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Why did man lay down? His dog ate his genitals.

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Yeah, I know too, its as if "Omg he has not replied in 5 seconds something must be wrong", sorry about that. Not endorphin person? That cannot be too good.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because the 99p mcdonalds mayo chicken was popular in the coop.

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Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? A live on at the bottom.

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Whats green and gets you really high? A green airplane

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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