How did the blonde die drinking milk? She was severely lactose intolerant.

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I was just thinking in something I swear ... I am still Just, wait, i'll be good

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? When 6 was younger, he was made fun of by all the bigger numbers. Everyday after school he would go home and wonder why he was made fun of. Was it his looks? How tall he was? The pain and suffering never stopped. He thought of suicide every day he got home from school. One day his mom got home from work and found 6 bleeding in the shower. She thought he was dead. She hurried him to the hospital where he was barely kept alive. After months of recovery, he started going back to school. The bullying never stopped, they started calling him a loser who should have died. He got older and depressed as a teenager. He got ahold of alcohol and began drinking. He went to meetings and got over his addiction. 10 years later he meets up with 7. It takes him back to his horrible childhood with the big numbers. Every time 6 sees 7, he gets reminded of everything. 7 had also murdered someone in front of 6.

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but his stomach was not big enough to finish. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free meal.

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jeffrey: Do you know what happened on the 5th of november? gerald: No jeffrey: I cant remember

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What did little boy with no arms and no legs get for chrismas: a bike

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If you come to Anti-Joke.com to look at the Newest jokes please leave a comment. Thank you!

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What do call a black politician? Not Barack Obama, unless it's Barack Obama

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A man walks into a bar. and buys a drink.

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Do you believe in magic? cuz i do.

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What did peter griffin say to the black guy? Oh you are black.

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Timmy's mom is an alcoholic. His dog is asleep in the backyard. Timmy asks his mother, "Why is our dog sleeping?" His mother replies, "It's not sleeping, its dead."

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My mom farted, she also has Alzheimer's, I also have Alzheimer's. Also pizza didn't like it

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Rose: Mom, why was I named Rose? Mom: Because when you were born a rose petal landed on your head. Rose: Than why is my brother named Brick? Mom: I liked the name.

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Anti-Joke Memes Are Obviously Not A Thing

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What is green and red all over? A christmas tree that is internally bleading.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What Did Sally Get For Christmas? A Bicycle

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How do you fit an elephant inside your car? I don't understand why this task would even need to be performed. I have never arrived anywhere in my car and thought "Sure could use an elephant right about now..."

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What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

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Whats black and flys out of a car? Pupies stuffed in a bag.

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An asian man walks into a taxi. The driver asked which chinese or electronic store woupd u like to go to?

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What is the difference between a group of magicians and a cheerleading squad? One has a cunning array of stunts.

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Yo mamas so fat she hates her life and the example she sets for her children.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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