jeffrey: Do you know what happened on the 5th of november? gerald: No jeffrey: I cant remember

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An man walks to a bra

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What did the grape do when it got stepped on? Released some juice and burst its skin.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? When 6 was younger, he was made fun of by all the bigger numbers. Everyday after school he would go home and wonder why he was made fun of. Was it his looks? How tall he was? The pain and suffering never stopped. He thought of suicide every day he got home from school. One day his mom got home from work and found 6 bleeding in the shower. She thought he was dead. She hurried him to the hospital where he was barely kept alive. After months of recovery, he started going back to school. The bullying never stopped, they started calling him a loser who should have died. He got older and depressed as a teenager. He got ahold of alcohol and began drinking. He went to meetings and got over his addiction. 10 years later he meets up with 7. It takes him back to his horrible childhood with the big numbers. Every time 6 sees 7, he gets reminded of everything. 7 had also murdered someone in front of 6.

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How did the blonde die drinking milk? She was severely lactose intolerant.

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There's now a sandwich named after Jerry Sandusky, it's got 60 year old meat stuffed between buns barely out of the oven.

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How is a hamster like a cigarette? They are harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire

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Where did the drunk Mother drive? Back to the Bar because she forgot her Baby.. Except she left it left it on the roof of the car...

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Yes you better be sorry, I'm gonna suck my mums p e n i s tonight! - Dylan Hodge

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I was just thinking in something I swear ... I am still Just, wait, i'll be good

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A duck walks into a store and asks the clerk, "do you have any grapes?" The clerk says no, and the duck leaves. The next day, the same duck walks back into the store, and asks the clerk if they have any grapes. The clerk, slightly annoyed, says no again, and the duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back in and asks again if they have any grapes. The pissed off clerk says, "No, and if you ask again i'm gonna nail your feet to the floor. The duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back into the store, and this time he asks the clerk, "do you have any nails?" The clerk says, "Yes." The Duck leaves.

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Once, a woman told her son to be a peach and fetch some sugar. Little did she know that a genie heard her. The next day, she was horrified to find her son gone and a peach in his bed.

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Why did the man jump off the bridge. Because he found his beloved wife cheating on him with his life-long friend that he meet when they both where in pre-school.

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he was late for his uncle's funeral, which was taking place in the church across from his apartment.

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What do you do with a dog that has no legs? Take him to the vet and have him put to sleep, it's the only humane thing to do.

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Hillo, its Spodermen, teiling u i fuked ur bich.

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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Whats the difference between a cow and another cow Help my dogs eating me

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nick walked into macdonalds... everyone stood up and left as they saw the potential danger in the situation.. nick later ended up bieng hit by a bus after chasing a duck

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What do you call a latino with a limp? John...his name is John

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How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's me. Oh, come on in. Thanks.

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A blond walked into a bar. A guy picker her up and then they had sex.

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Why did the man laugh as he sat in the electric chair? He was being tickled by the guard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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