Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

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what do you call a bunch of crap at the bottom of the ocean? A shitwreck!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your a slut

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one does, too.

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Why was the boy in a wheelchair raising money to buy a basketball uniform? Because wheelchair basketball is a popular sport

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Ed Milliband knows what's best for the UK.

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Do you know how I know you're gay? 'Cuz your dick taste like shit.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "My wife is dying of terminal brain cancer."

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How do you scare a plumber? Kill his family.

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What is long, hard, cries a lot, and can't fall down a man-hole? A baby with a javelin through its neck.

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Knock Knock who's there? Steve Steve who? Steve. I already told you my name.

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Who is yellow and cant drive straight. A man dying of lukemia

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Knock Knock.. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Daves dead. This is Darrell.

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So this guy is waiting for a heart transplant. He dies.

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What's brown and red? I lied about the red, it's dirt.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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why aren't doughnuts square? because they are round

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What's orange and rhymes with a parrot. A carrot

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Q: What is strange about Arabs? A: Very little.

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Knock knock, Who's there Why did the chicken cross the road? Idiot.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? The one at the bottom is alive. What's worse than that? He's eating his way out. What's worse than that? He came back for seconds.

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Whats brown and sticky? A Stick.

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If a Cheetah and Usain bolt raced in the Olympics who would win? Obviously Usain hes black and cheetahs can't perform in the olympics

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Whats the difference beetween a pilgrim and a jack-o-lantern? Jack-o-lanters didn't discover america.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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