Whats black and white and red all over?? Half a zebra

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What's worse than dropping an ice-cream cone? A dead baby. What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies. What's worse than two dead babies? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Dropping two ice-cream cones.

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Two Irish men walk in to a bar. Or maybe it was three. It's actually quite a common occurrence here in Dublin.

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why did the chicken eat his brother? he was a canivore

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How do you starve a Mexican? You stick him in a secure room and deprive him of food resources

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he has no arms.

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Whats funny about a man in a pink leotard ? Nothing infact i think he's very brave

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how do you make a plummer cry? you spell PLUMBER wrong

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What did the paper towel say to the tomato? Nothing.

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What did one wall say to the other wall? Nothing. Walls are inanimate objects and thus incapable of conversing with one another.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because i was on the other side and we were going to catch a movie

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What did the robot say to the boy? Nothing, the robot malfunctioned and started to strangle the boy. The authorities tried to get the robot to stop but robots are too strong. When the robot had killed the boy, it self destructed.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? Lawyers exist, are alive and despite all claims to the contrary, can withstand sunlight, garlic and the sign of the cross. They also have reflections and whilst they may eat black pudding from time to time they don't depend on blood as a source of nutrition.

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How is a hamster like a cigarette? They are harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire

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What is the best way to eat a dead baby? I don't know. That is incredibly disgusting.

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Yes you better be sorry, I'm gonna suck my mums p e n i s tonight! - Dylan Hodge

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If you give a hobo a stick he might poke u with it

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Why is OK SUK WHANG's name on a gravestone? She thought she was way better than okay.

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An man walks to a bra

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Q: Whats Red And Has Socks? A: An Apple, I Lied About The Socks..

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There's now a sandwich named after Jerry Sandusky, it's got 60 year old meat stuffed between buns barely out of the oven.

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Where did the drunk Mother drive? Back to the Bar because she forgot her Baby.. Except she left it left it on the roof of the car...

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What did the grape do when it got stepped on? Released some juice and burst its skin.

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A duck walks into a store and asks the clerk, "do you have any grapes?" The clerk says no, and the duck leaves. The next day, the same duck walks back into the store, and asks the clerk if they have any grapes. The clerk, slightly annoyed, says no again, and the duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back in and asks again if they have any grapes. The pissed off clerk says, "No, and if you ask again i'm gonna nail your feet to the floor. The duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back into the store, and this time he asks the clerk, "do you have any nails?" The clerk says, "Yes." The Duck leaves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops