your mom is so ugly that she was made fun of in highschool so much that she now has social issues and a fear of close relationships which is why she left you and your father at age 5

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whats the difference between sand and period blood? You cannot gargle sand.

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Clyde: Hey John! :D John: Hey clyde! :D Clyde: :D! John: :D! Clyde: :D, :), :|, :(, D'X John: ? hey man, are you ok? Wtf is going on with you? Clyde: Man, it's not me... :'(... It's you... It's your... Your... John: My what? Clyde: YOUR FACE!!!! D'X

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Why do people laugh at anti-jokes? Because of a chemical reaction to a neurological phenomenon that results from the brain's response to external stimuli.

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You tie a noose around your neck, you jump off a cliff and before you hit the ground you shoot yourself in the head.

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what happened to the black man that fell of the bridge? he drowned due to the fact the african-americans do not swim very well.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? When 6 was younger, he was made fun of by all the bigger numbers. Everyday after school he would go home and wonder why he was made fun of. Was it his looks? How tall he was? The pain and suffering never stopped. He thought of suicide every day he got home from school. One day his mom got home from work and found 6 bleeding in the shower. She thought he was dead. She hurried him to the hospital where he was barely kept alive. After months of recovery, he started going back to school. The bullying never stopped, they started calling him a loser who should have died. He got older and depressed as a teenager. He got ahold of alcohol and began drinking. He went to meetings and got over his addiction. 10 years later he meets up with 7. It takes him back to his horrible childhood with the big numbers. Every time 6 sees 7, he gets reminded of everything. 7 had also murdered someone in front of 6.

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what do u call a Muslim flying a plane??? 9-11

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What did the cake say to the icing? Come here

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how do u have sex with a really hot girl who is not interested in you? Rape her in a dark ally

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I once met with Mahatma Gandhi and he said to me "Child, why do I walk this earth?.. What is the meaning of my living?.. Why am I alive?" and I bowed in respect of his wisdom and said "I don't know. Why do you?" and he said "I don't I'm dead."

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a pig ate a hobo, the hobo was a blind rapist from canada

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why couldn't jonny ride on a swing? he had no arms or legs why didn't jonny have any arms or legs? he's a potato!

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"Ask me if I'm a tree," "Are you a tree?" "No."

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How do you get a girl to pay for food? You Rape Her

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I walk the path less taken. Moral: Everything in life is a moral, as far as I care immorality does not exist, everything goes, I AM MORAL MAN!! He`s the MORAL MAN IIS HEE A MORAAL OR IS HEE... (you know Ozzy) AND NOW THAT YOU ARE DOMINATED you can go back to your fun, or reply, again, but you see, at this point I am already elswhere, so if you reply, you lose your control of your nasal coughanalcough nerve endings, and the potency of course.

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What's the difference between an orange? Two typewriters, because vests don't have sleeves.

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Why did the bald man lose his hair no not cancer obviously AIDS.

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Why didn't the chicken not get across the road? Cause it's head got shot off by some drunk asshole

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welcome to australia. *kangaroo kicks you in the gut and you keel over, whereupon you are stampeded by wild dingoes and eaten by tasmanian devils*

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69

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why did the little girl fall off the swing? she was a double amputee.

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Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other, 'Have you heard about this mad cow disease?' and the other says 'Good thing we're penguins.'

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What do you call a cat without a face ? - Kitty !

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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