Why did the turtle take so long on his run? Because he never went on a run he walked.

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What do you call a blonde that just got hit by a school bus? Dead.

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A Polish man walks into a bar and says, "Co za asy..."

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The guy told a funny joke. Why wasn't the other guy laughing? Because he was having a heart attack

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What's redder than a red apple? 2 red apples

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Your momma's so fat she ate oranges and coffe

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Mike and Richard were walking down the street together Richard left because of Mike's garlic breath

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?  The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that :  L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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Hold on, please hold on! I will explain, it is my name, but I don't know whats so wrong with it at all... Please give me five minutes, I need to use the bathroom, please don't go just yet, don't be mad at me, what have I done wrong now? I mean if you are gonna go to sleep or something please do not be upset with me.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Jason. Jason who? The person who is answering the door hears a chainsaw start up and suddenly realizes that Jason is the murderer from Friday the Thirteenth. The person goes and gets their shotgun, ready to blast Jason's head of when he breaks in.

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knock knock who's there? THE ROCKET POWERED FIST!!

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Roses are red, But ravens are black, Please go to China, and never come back!

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Roses are red, and violets are freakin violet. Not blue.

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How long does it take you to count to 5? 5 seconds.

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What did the orphan say to his parents? nothing

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Why did the old man die? He was old.

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What's the difference between a duck?

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Q) What's worse than getting dumped by text? A) Getting hit by a fridge.

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what did the deaf guy say when the poor man asked how life was? the deaf guy didn't respond considering the fact that he was deaf and would never interact with a poor man.

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how did the fat man get up the stairs he walked

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whats worse than taking a refrigerator to the face? the holocaust and AIDs

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What would have happend if martin Luther king was white? I don't know he wasn't so it's irrelevant

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a white men said to another white men that someone robbed a bank, it was at night and he wasn't wearing a mask, and also the camera couldn't see him, they now found out that he was black.

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Knock knock Who's there? Dishes Dishes who? Dishes a bad joke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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