A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you get a black guy out of a tree? hit him in the head with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A black man walks into a bar in an all white neighborhood. He has a couple of drinks, pays for them, and politely calls a taxi for a ride home.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

m

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Hey! Have you ever heard of the Alzheimers joke?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Someone threw a fridge at her

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Two members of the KKK walk into the bar into a bar. The bartender asks, "what do you think of Obama?" One of the KKK members says "he is my President, I respect him."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a truck full of dead babies? Not enough.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite. He died the following day.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What happened to George's pet rock? It ran away.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Help i have fallen and i cannont get up Life alert life alert To bad just sit there we dont care

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Sam Hengal.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q.If I have four apples and billy has 4 oranges, how many pancakes will fit on the roof. A. 3 because aliens like purple hats.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the difference between my girlfriend and a dead baby? I don't make out with my girlfriend after sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I've got a shotgun, Give me the money.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red, Violets are blue, This is a poem, Penis knuckle.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the man think he was hungry? Answer: Because his brain told that he needed to Eat or he was going to be really hungry. Made by eli

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A: Doctor doctor help me! B: Sorry, I'm not actually a doctor, stop calling me that!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What disease did Harry Styles get? 1Infection! (if you don't know, Harry Styles is 1direction's manager)

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Ask me if I am a Truck Are You a Truck No

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you stop a black man from drowning? Take away his glass of water.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

how do you see the difference between a ceiling and a floor? people dont walk on a ceiling

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops