What did the female lady person say to the baby? Get Some.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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a horse is a horse. of course of course....unless its a cow

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Why couldn't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has parkinsons and therefore couldn't keep his hand steady.

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what does matt daly like to do in his free time anal

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What is white and fluffy? A cotton ball.

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There was once a boy named Aladin. He was very poor until he found a magic lamp. When he rubbed the lamp, a genie poped out of the lamp. He said... "I will grant you one wish, master" Aladin thought about this for a long time, until eventually he said... "I wish for all the chocolate in the world" "Very well, master" And the genie granted his wish and Aladin had all the chocolate in the world Unfortunately, because he ate so much chocolate, Aladin died of heart & liver failure

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A white person went to see Think like a Lady by Steve Harvey.

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A man noticed that the sun was coming in brightly through his window. He was trying to take a nap and didnt appreciate the sunlight. He closed the blinds.

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Bob: Hey bro Jim: ... Bob: You're dead! Jim: Yep.

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what is similar between a turtle losing its shell, and a man selling his chlothes and house? they are now both naked and homeless

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there was a rich kid strolling in the woods.he saw a bear, HE DIED

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There are 2 women at a bus stop. One of them has a swollen belly. The pregnant woman says to the other one, "I'm expecting a baby." The other woman responds, "That's too bad. I'm expecting a bus, at least that'll help me."

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What did the father say to his son, who incidently shot his brother while they were playing with a gun home alone? "It happens." He then hung himself.

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My Mom was strutting down the runway. Then she got trampled by a plane.

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What is worse than stepping on Lego bare foot? Mass genocide.

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WHo owns a white van? JOSH!!

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How did the black man cross the Atlantic? An airplane. He also could have used a boat. However, airplanes are a preferred form of travel.

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Why is there a rock in a boy's foot? He wasn't weraing shoes.

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Roses are red.

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Chuck Norris tried to return some jeans to Target and when they didn't give him his money he kickeed them in the face.

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Why did the hooker cross the road? Because was a prostitute

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osama is obame quincadence or aluminatti????

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Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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