Why was a black person on the run, being trailed by police officers? They were all late to work; their work places were coincidentally situated near each other.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the shark say to the beached whale? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the prostitute say to the president of the United States? Good morning Mr. President. She had managed to leave the sex industry, finished her education and was doing secretarial work in the White House.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's worse than being fired? Eating a bucket of diarrhea.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

It was a boys birthday, his mom died of cancer, his dad of aids, and all of his siblings were put in a gas chamber. Happy Birthday

thumb_up thumb_down +23

You scream I scream We all screamed when the chicken crossed the road

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Mogok Papiti.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

what has wheels and drives? a boat i lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down +23

SUCK MY NUTS

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding worms in your stool.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A man walks into a bar. He orders a Guinness.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Knock Knock Whos there Cameron oh

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Who is the best person to do your nails with? Nobody, you have no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A: Ask me if I'm a tree! B: Are you a tree? A: No.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call Ed Milliband after he's been decapitated? Dead Milliband.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

who do you call when you see a ghost in your apartment? The Mental Hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Roses are Red Violets are Red My Garden is on Fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A Jew was walking home one night when two thugs leapt out of the darkness and demanded his money and other possessions at gunpoint. A reflection of how dangerous our streets can be at night.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you blindfold an asian? With a blindfold.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, He cracked his skull and died on impact. He will be missed.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops