Why did the blonde ask her doctor if she could get a new butt? She is insecure about its appearance and believes reconstructive anus surgery is the only solution.

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How do you turn a dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel

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What do you call a black doctor? Doctor.

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Why did the kids all eat their homework? Probably because they were starving to death and there was no other food source available.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Bob, your neighbor. Okay, come in.

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Why did the boy eat the chips? Because he was hungry

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Geography Teacher: What caused the earthquake of Japan? Me: Godzilla constipated too hard, and it caused an earthquake. Tsunami was the result of his poo. Geography Teacher: then how do you explain the after shocks...? Me: Godzilla shat his pants after the toilet

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth? A: Bricks.

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How do you kill a dwarf? You put rope around his neck and attach the other end to a concrete slab. Proceed to then through him in the ocean.

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Why did the black man vote for Obama in the presidential election? Every person over the age of 21 has an open opinion to vote for the person of their choice to run as president for a 4-year term.

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How do you piss off a redneck? You wait until he is done fucking his sister and then you steal his truck.

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chuck norris was bit by a snake, a few hours later he died

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what did the poor guy get for christmas POVERTY

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So this squirrel is walking across the road when a HUGE truck comes and smashes him beneath the tire.

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Ask me if I'm a horse. Are you a horse? No.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, as speaking to himself is a sign of mental illness.

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why did Sallt fall off the swings? she had no arms knock knock who's there not Sally

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The pilot lacked flying skills and experience.

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What did the Priest say to the kid walking home alone? Be safe.

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What did Joe get for his first birthday? Nothing he died at birth

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Your mamma's so fat she has diabetes and may die because she may not be able to loose enough weight to keep her blood sugar at a regulated number.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Screwing in a lightbulb is a simple, menial task, and the fact that the man was a Jew is irrelevant.

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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What's big, yellow and if it fell from a tree it would kill you? A JCB!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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