Help me I need to know how to cook a human fetus by tomorrow does anyone know any good recipes?

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How does a black man cut his hair? At a hairdresser

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What happens to an elephant when it rains? It gets wet.

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Why did Johnny disappear? He was sucked into a vacuum toilet on an air jet.

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what has wheels and is red. A heart, i lied about the wheels.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?!, who's there?!!!, ya fucking asshole!!!, and quit knockin on my door!, my windows are fine!"

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What's half of 8? o

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Q- How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A- You Poke Her Face

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Two black guys walk into a bar. One of them was white.

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Whats the difference between a duck? Both legs are of the same length. Especially the left one.

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what did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? "Grggglgluglguggarglegerrrllggglge"

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Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas? Because his parents are dead.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? I don't hammer the watermon

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knock, knock who's their? police get down on the ground!

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Why was the boy crying on his birthday? He was being molested by his birthday clown who he was fully aware was his alcoholic costumed father.... And it wasn't his birthday.

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Why did the Muslim kill a gay guy? Because the gay guy was threatening his family with a gun.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He chickened out.

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A man cooks dinner almost every night even though his wife is the better cook, and the man is in charge of the household. Why? Because the man isnt a sexist douchebag.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who? Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who? Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who? Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who?

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The day after Christmas a chain-smoker, a sex addict, and an alcoholic go to the doctor. The doctor tells the three friends that they need to quit their addiction or they will die. R.I.P. Tommy, Jacob, and Winston 1/1/2011

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what do you call afish and a cat? a catfish

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XD A COZY FIGHT XD WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? I am gonna kick your ass, break your face and then give you a kiss on the cheek as your mangled corpse bleeds out... XD :)) THANKS FOR THE LAUGHTER XD XD Reminds me of a former comment where you describe the local weather, you know, we do not live that far away from each other, hell it was actually the time, we are completely in the same timezone, so anyway, do you also get cartoon network on your television?

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A Lion walked into bar. He ordered a steak Because lions love meat.

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Roses are red bullets are led if you don't take me back now i'll shoot you in the head!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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