Whats sorer than stubbing your toe? Stubbing your toe twice

Guess what. Butts. www.youtube.com/c/LouisGames www.twitch.tv/KiLM_Ghostz

11/9 Americans won't get this joke.

your know what grinds my gears? when I throw my car into park while going 90 on the highway.

Why didn't the blonde hook up with the business man? Because he was a raging alcoholic and a severe smoker who was incapable of looking after his 3 kids and he has gone to jail 3 times for public nudity and beating his wife.

Your mother is so fat that LOWERLOWEOROLWERLOWEH OIRH OWER IOWEJ OR OIJWE :JWEJKLR

What happens when Chuck Norris and Mr. T get into a car accident? They trade insurance information.

Q. Why did the 8 year girl scream and cry when she was raped? A. I have no idea either. I drugged her and taped her mouth closed.

What do you call someone that has befriended a fisherman? Fishermans friend Moral: Strongest there is.

What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a girl? Consensual sexual intercourse between two young adults.

Title IX

There's two bears in a bathtub, One looks at the other and says "hey can you pass the soap?" the other bear says "what do i look like a light bulb?"

Why can cats jump so high? Cats leg muscles are different then ours. They work kind of like springs that build up energy and then release suddenly. Its kind of like a budgie cord. This gives them the ability to jump so high. If humans were built the same way, they could easily jump up on a one-story roof.

How long did it take Jeff, a middle-aged man with a lifelong speech-destroying lisp, to overcome his impediment? Less than ten minutes, as carbon monoxide is a colorless, odorless toxic gas that eliminates oxygen at a rapidly-acting rate inside of small areas such as the car Jeff locked himself inside.

What is one similarity between John Samos, and the dreadful clown? they have a red nose and are payed to be funny, aside from John Samos!

What did Osama Bin Laden say to his barber? ????? ??? ?????? ??? ?????, which, in their native language means, I would like to get a haircut.

Your momma is so old, it is likely that she will pass away in the near future, and I would recommend you to spend some quality time with her.

Why did the cow cross the road? Because he escaped the farm and didn't know what else to do.

Why does my friend pick up trash? Because he is a garbageman

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

A black guy, a white guy, a Jew, and a priest are on plane that is on fire. What do they do? Call their family and tell them they lovedthem, because there are more than likely going to die.

My mates dad hasnt had a job in 20 years... its probably why there all homless outside my house.

hashtags suck balls

A family has been forced out of their house by ghosts. Who are they gonna call?... Their insurance company.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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