A dog is always in the pushup position.

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roses are red that fact is true but violets are violet not fu***** blue

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What is white and long? A New York winter

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue You wouldn't know that Cause you're a dog.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says what will it be? The duck replies "lemonade!"

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What did Soviet children dream about? Communism.

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Whats worse than 4 dead babies in a bucket? finding an actual joke on Anti Joke.

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How do you call leprechaun with leprosy? Sick.

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You know what they say about people with big feet? Big shoes.

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Cheetahs run at an alarmingly fast rate for short periods of time. Until I shoot them with harpoons.

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What's the difference between my dog and my wife? I respect my dog.

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How do you keep a black man from hanging around your tree? You cut the rope.

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Mary- Hey Dallas, do you have a suitcase? Dallas- Yeah, why? Mary- I need a suitcase

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Whats black and yellow and makes you laugh? A bus full of niggers driving of a cliff

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what does the sloth say to Jonah reincastle? nothing Jonah is the sloth

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Why did Adolf Hitler Start WWII and kill millions of Jews? Because he was a poweful dictator

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Why was New Zealand attacked by Australia? New Zealand attacked Australia due to a teritorial dispute. The war lasted for 3 years with over 150000 deaths.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the slaughter house.

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Three men walk into a gay bar, and have a great time because they're all of consensual age and brought condoms for safe sex.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead." It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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Why did Suzy drop her ball? Because roughly 5 years ago she was part of a car crash violently tearing off both of her arms. Knock knock. Who's there. NOT SUZY!

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What did the lawyer say to the lawyer We are both lawyers

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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NEVER

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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