What's worse than swing a dead baby by a rope? Stopping it with a shovel.

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What's black, smoking, and sitting at the top of the stairs? Steven Hawking after a house fire.

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How many blonds douse it take to change a light bulb I dont know it hasn't happened yet

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&cd=1&ved=0CAsQFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fhomepage.eircom.net%2F~cronews%2Felep%2Felep.html&ei=1aAjVMrJJcePoQS99ILADg&usg=AFQjCNEy4qvnhug3LTGYLGylpoRhxjk_zg

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Ask me if I am a Truck Are You a Truck No

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a ferrari? You can't find a ferrari in my garage.

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What did one wall say to the other? Nothing. Walls can't talk.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he was told he would never find a wife

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Why did the kid fall off is bike? He was hit by a bus.

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A man is unemployed, ugly, short, fat, smelly and stupid. That's what she said.

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Why did the princess kiss the frog? She really wanted a wart.

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what is orange and sounds like a parrot a carrot

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We're sorry, but something went wrong. We've been notified about this issue and we'll take a look at it shortly.

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Why did Emily sit in a lonely corner? Because she just wanted to okay!

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What did the Rabbi say when the Priest asked how his family was? The Rabbi breaks into tears as he explains his family was killed in the Holocaust.

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How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool then don't let her come up for air.

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Why did the woman get into a car accident? She was blind.

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whats purple and attacks like a bear? a purple bear

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I typed in in a Anti-joke and realized it was kind of hard.

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why did the tortoise cross the road? it does not matter, it got hit by a vehicle and died on impact.

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Roses are red, my binoculars are blue. When your window's open, i'm watching you.

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what did the chinese man say to the convicts at the side of the road? so long gay boys what did the convicts do to the chinese man? nothing he was in a car

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An arab says allahu akbar, people respect him as he is pronouncing his religion in his place of worship

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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