There once was a man from Nantucket, He sailed a boat.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did Jamie get for Christmas? Nothing. Jamie is not friends with Christmas.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do Asians name their children? They throw them down the stairs and see what sound they make.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Get out".

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What the flower say to the bird. Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the fat guy survive the the plane crash? He was late to get up due to a malfunctioning alarm clock and so missed his flight, sparing him of the tragic outcome the other passengers suffered. To this day he still thinks about how a completely random occurrence saved his life.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why was the pen mad at the pencil? it wasnt. objects don't have feelings

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the black guy buy a jug of grape soda Because he was thirsty

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is black and white and red all over? I don't know. I was hoping you did.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you earn a bunch of money all at once? Walk into Hot Topic and say "I have knives for sale!"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a Harry Beaver? A beaver with lots of hair.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the homosexual get for Christmas off his boyfriend? A lovely present off his loving partner.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

WTF THINKING: "If you are going trough hell go back to where the path to hell began just get the fuck out of there you stupid dumbass muddaf0cker" "If you feel life is pushing you five steps back for each one you go forward, just turn your fucking back to your goal and you will get there in no time" "Never ever ever ever ever give up" -Fucking inspiring when you just give up after a certain number of "evers" "IT IS BETTER TO REIGN IN HEAVEN THAN TO SERVE IN HEAVEN!" "I forgot the rest" Nero the ONLY moralman (Fuck Neronism and they copying my shit, I am the only psychopath animal theRAPIST in town! (Female animals only, you think I am a pervert or something? Be ashamed you perverted deviant!)

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why couldnt Helen Keller drive? Because She was Blind you sexist asshole

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Your moma is so fat, that Jabba the Hutt says: "Damn!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you piss of camon? Have sex with shelby!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

There are two muffins in a oven, the first muffin is chocolate chip and the second muffin is blueberry.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Twelve people are in a plane. One of them says: "Man, we really are not so many in this plane" Another one replies: "It's because it's a 12 seats plane." Another says: "Do 12 seats planes even exist?" Another one answers: "Of course they do." Another person says: "Guys, are we even flying?" Someone says: "I don't know" Another says: "Yes, we're flying, look out the window." Another says: "I have cancer." Someone reacts: "Oh, I'm really sorry for you" Another: "Yes, me too" Someone adds: "It's really terrible" Another says: "Has science made any progress recently?" The plane crashes.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. "Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?" The Irish man looks down at it, dumbfounded. "I have absolutely no idea," he says, and removes it.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the old man go to the retirement home? The 75 year old man had a 45 year career in pluming and he thought it was a good time to retire after saving enough money to be happy and he could spend the rest of his life with his wife. The retirement home was also not that far away from his grandchildren so he liked the location and the home was also very clean and the workers seemed very nice. But this was just a visit to see if he liked it, he may live there soon.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why did miles cross the road? Because hes gay

thumb_up thumb_down -8

SKnock Knock. Whose there? Why don't you open the door and find out instead of questioning the millions of other people that knock on your door everyday?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops