what's worse than 24? 6 million.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A: What do you call a deer with no eyes? A: I got NoEyeDeer!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's green and eats rocks? A green rock eater What's purple and eats rocks? It hasn't been discovered by science yet...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is the difference between a Mexican and an a pile of crap? One is disgusting and unsanitary and the other is a pile of crap.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why didnt the cannibal like the taste of the comedian? because the comedian smelled very bad and the cannibal forgot to add salt.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I'm gay Mr Goodwin

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

dickdickvdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdick

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the raisin say to the toaster? Nothing. The raisin lacks a central nervous system, and the toaster is an inanimate object.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the CEO step down? Because he was very ill and could no longer meet his duties and expectations as Pear’s CEO.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A blond walks into a hair dresser's wearing a pair of headphones. The hair dresser tells the blond to take the headphones off so she can cut the blond's hair. The blond says that if they take off the headphones, then they'll die. The hair dresser works around the headphones, but finally needs to cut underneath the headphones. The hair dresser forces the blond to take the headphones off and nothing happened.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Did you hear about the guy that lost the whole left side of his body? Well, he's all right.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the Chicken say to the Interviewer Interviewer: how do you feel about your eggs chicken: the eggs are actually my periods. Interviewer: how do you feel about your periods ChicKen: you eat my periods everyday. people make cakes, omlettes and all these food out of my period. Imagine the world running on your period. Interviewer: what are your feelings on your periods Chicken: I have a mixture of feelings. i feel really scared because the farmers would kill me if i can have my periods. i feel glorified because the world runs on my eggs and i feel proud. I feel freaked out because the world actualy runs on my periods

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Yo momma's so fat, however, she takes pride in her size because every body is beautiful.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

So i know this guy... yes? thats it.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q. What did the barber say to the Italian kid? A. Do you want your hair cut or should I just change the oil.?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet You have pancreatic cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +5

If all ziggles are zaggles and all zaggles are zumbles, then why is your mother a whore?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's the difference between an ostridge? It can neither fly.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

two japanese men walk into a bar. the first japanese man says “i am japanese!” the second japanese man says “i am also japanese!” the bartender then says “well, hey. i’m japanese too”. the bar was in japan.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's worse than having cancer? Two people having cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats the difference between cake and dead babies? Cakes make people happy while dead babies are a sad and disturbing sight to see.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops