What’s spotty, has three legs and is green all over? …well?

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's a free drink, you'll wake up in my basement.

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What do I have in common with your mum? We're in the same bed right now.

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A man walks into a bar... And orders a glass of beer to cool himself off after a long day at the quarry.

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Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? I don't know.

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer

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82

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Your momma so stupid, she speaks poorly and can't spell very well.

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i dont fisish anythi

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Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? Because he's dead.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was died...

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What do you call a lot of Chinese people in a confined place? A Chinese urban center.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't so much cross the road as he did go down the road, to the supermarket, where he was sold to a family of 5, and taken down yet another road to the family's house, where they enjoyed a nice family dinner.

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A pair of brothers walked into a bar. It was where the wake was being held from their mother's funeral.

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What do a duck and a tricycle have in common? They both have wheels. Except for the duck.

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Why Did Suzie fall of the swing? She has Polio and will die the Next Day

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What's scarier than a ghost? Practically anything as ghosts aren't real.

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In Soviet Russia, there was a movement to be renamed into the Russian Federation, which passed on December 25, 1991.

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What do u call a matthew vasquez with a guitar, a one man mariachi band... cuz he is mexican

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Q: What is tall, white, and shaped like a house? A: a tall white man, if you break his limbs and twist them into the rectangular shape of a house.

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Your momma is so fat she has an increased risk or cardiac arrest due to obesity. I ridicule her based on the theory that her morbid obesity is due to the fact that she has a diet consisting of large amounts of calories and high fat content and/or she is known to be very sedentary and does not partake in physical exercise. However, if this increase in body fat content is due to genetics I retract my previous statement and wish only the best for her, also, you might want to lower your calorie intake and visit your local gym, lest you succumb to morbid obesity, much like your mother.

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Why did the young teenager cut class? To cut himself! Get it?! Its a pun!

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance cocvered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being deined coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be covered." The man snaps his fingers and says "Damn! I should've voted Democrat!"

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What's the difference between communism and race mixing? Zey come for our blood, but drown in zeir ovn!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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