Guy 1: Why does it smell like a wet dog? Guy 2: Because I smell like a wet dog

How do you fit 100 Jews in a car? You can't

A grasshopper walks into a bar and no one notices because it's just a little insect.

Why was the boy crying? Because him and his sister were sent to an orphanage.

What do you do when life gives you lemons? Kindly reject the offer and give it back to life.

Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Why did the baby fall off the swing? Because i hit it with a bat.

Q. What did the dead man do after he died? A. Nothing. He's dead.

What is hard, long, moist, and flesh colored? A hotdog you dirty, dirty bastard!

What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy? One has a slightly darker skin complexion

Q: Why was the little girl not allowed to watch the pirate film? A: Due to the violent scenes and coarse language, her parents decided it was inappropriate.

Why do black people like watermelons so much? They don't. It's just a stereotype.

A Blond and a Brunette are falling down to their deaths, which one hits the ground first? Does it matter? They both die anyway.

A dog walks into a club. Just kidding I hit the dog with a club multiple times, killed it, and went to jail for the murder of an innocent animal.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If a wood chuck could chuck wood, it would depend on whether it wanted to or not. If it did want to, it could potentially chuck an infinite amount of wood in its lifetime

Why was the lady afraid of rocks? Because her husband was stoned.

Why did Austin Bell smell like tuna? He had sea food at Joes Crab Shack

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit on the way there.

What did the boy say to the girl seductively eating a banana? A: bananas are my favorite fruit

Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- (commits suicide)

What did Robin say to Justin Beiber? You're gay. Angus L.

Why did the boy jump off a cliff Because he was gay and committed suicide

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

what does lady gaga have that some people dont have? a penis.

If somebody stabs you in the forehead, you are likely to get injured.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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