Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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why did the chicken cross the road? He saw his family getting murdered and tried to stop it but got hit in the process

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A women answers the phone. -"Hello?" -"Yes, hi, have I reached the Smiths?" -"No, you've reached the wrong number" The two women hand up, and continue with their lives.

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Yo mamma's so fat she attracts other matter with a force proportional to the product of their masses divided by the square of the distance.

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what does I.C.T mean when a teacher says it it means I cant teach

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Knock Knock Who's there? Me, wondering why your not naked.

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Why was Jimmy upset? He wasn't.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one. It should only take one person to demonstrate such a simple task, regardless of their hair color.

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What happens if a guy is gay? You call him Verl.

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Where do you go when you find a fork in the road? To the nearest restaurant.

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Roses are reds, Viloets are blue, Thank God I'm a christian, And not a jew.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, In Soviet Russia, Poem writes you.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your BANANA.

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why did the Jew not attend school ? because he was 27

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(Pretend you're an orphan.) Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.

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I was expecting something like that... Anyway, good you do not mind in particular, because that means I am just boring myself here, so, tell me something about yourself you don't tell people most.

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What's worse than being forced to drink your own urine and eat a disabled kids poop? James Holmes (Ironic that the text I had to type in to post this was "I'M BATMAN".)

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What colour is an orange? Orange. What did you expect?

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i'm not random but cheese does get a bit purple if you leave it in your laptop then the battery dies and the sun expands and kills every dodo alive even though they're extinct but that not the point

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What's the best part of the 1980s? They're over.

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What's big or small, can come in different colors, and would kill you if it was forced inside you? A refrigerator.

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how many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front and 3 in the back depending on how many people decide to go

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? most likely one unless there is physical disability that makes this person incapable of this action

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops