how do you kill a blonde?? put a scratch n sniff on the bottom of a pool

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Nothing. Johnny is Jewish.

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what is black and white and read all over? A penguin in a blender

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven brutally raped and murder six's parents whilst six hid in the closet and watched.

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Yo mama is so fat , she died of a heart condition

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what do you call a man with no arms or legs? numerous abusive terms as you kickk him to death.

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Why can't Lake Mossman find his penis? Because he's a fat ass, and he doesn't have any arms.

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Knock knock who's there? the police, your under arrest the police your under arrest who? BAM! sir, I'm placing you under arrest for the murder of your wife, anything you say or do can be used against you. IT WASN'T ME!!!! yeah yeah tell it the judge

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Why does Billy Mays yell? He doesn't, he's dead.

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Q. What's yellow and sour? A. Not a banana

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Brett Favre sent me a pic of his penis. I then compared it to my own and felt good about my general ackage size

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What did the black boy get for Christmas? Black people don't celebrate Christmas.

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What did the Jewish kid get for Christmas? Nothing, Jews don't celebrate Christmas.

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-You know what will always get people fighting? -Hey, you wanna fight?

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A chicken walks into McDonalds. He never comes out because he got grilled, greased, and seasoned.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If I Had A Brick I Would Throw It At You

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A Wii.

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I can vote and I am equal to males in the work enviornment. That's what she said.

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a man walks into a bar. He left after he drank two beers. Someone pulled his pants down and he didnt notice. when he got home he realized his pants were gone. He returned to the bar to search, but it was a metal bar, and he was fairly stupid. please dont laugh

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whats the fastest way to be murdered tell your wife your cheating on her

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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GO CHARLIE TO CANDY MOUNTAIN. Charlie is a unicorn and unicorns are not real they are mythological creatures. They do not breath becuase they where never alive unless you do drugs(mr craig) that is the only way to see them. And drugs leed to lose of money, loss of money = broke.Broke = no home. No home= death. So who believes in unicorns??

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Roses are red Violets are blue Polytetrafluoroethylene is a synthetic fluoropolymer of tetrafluoroethylene that has numerous applications

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What did the apple say to the other apple? Nothing, apples are fruits and cannot talk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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