Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm locked in someone's basement, Please help me.

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Poker face

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Two fish are in a tank. One is driving, the other is operating the gun. Two soldiers are in a tank. They both drown.

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When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Well, that's going to be some horrible lemonade if life doesn't also give you water and sugar.

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what did one gagged man say to the other gagged man? nothing he was gagged

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Why did the christian go into the church? To pray.

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WHATS A GREAT RAVE TUNE KANE !!!!! TUCKER !!!!!!!! DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Skeletons neither have muscles nor brains to control any muscles and therefor cannot transport themselves across a road or any stretch of land for that matter.

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Why did the parents order the 16 year old daughter to move out of Virginia? Because she lost her virginity

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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"I had angry birds before it was cool." -Alfred Hitchcock

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How does a Chinese person wear a contact lens? On a 45 degree angle

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Under Chuck Norris' beard, there is a chin.

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Why was the baby's face red? Because it was bloody.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? I don't know, I've never tried to.

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Why doesn't Harry have any arms? Because he's a Jew.

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What's the difference between 50 dead babies and a three-course meal? One of them can feed me for a day and the other is a three-course meal.

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Why wouldn't someone want to work in the mining industry? Their dad died in the mines.

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What are crabs with out the crabs Nothing hahahahaha

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whats worse than watching your house burn to the ground? Sarah Palin becoming president

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Why did the Black man buy some slaves? They were his family

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Why was Jimmy so bad at jumping rope? His father's car ran over an IED back in 2009. Jimmy had lost his legs in a tragic explosion.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Today is Valentines Day I am depressed

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69

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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