I was jacking off I don't use my hand tho, I just use my gf's vagiina

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There was a chicken. It squarked.

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How do you make a sausage roll? Wrap some sausage meat in a pastry dough made of plain flour, water, salt and fat, and bake it in an oven.

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What do you call a kid with leukemia and no arms? Names.

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I was watching Fox news.

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Its Eliza, hope you are still there, would you mind getting here sooner? This site is not safe, besides its cold here, I mean send somebody else if you got to, I might look frail but Nero taught me a thing or two, so I can honestly say that Nero taught me better than you guys just in case. Funny you say there is no code, yet add three, yeah you better expect nothing "fancy", Mr.Torture dungeon master. Honestly though I do not blame you, and if I really meant you where a psycho, I would not have agreed/asked you showed up, I am serious I need to get out of here.

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Whats funny about a guinea pig water skiing? The part where he explodes.

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Why did Piglet look in the toilet? He was probably fascinated by the flush.

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What did the Japanese man name his black baby? -Som Ting Wong :)

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People always say if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say Anthony at all. Mimes must be full of hate.

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why did no one like Ashley? because she was a bitch!

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Knock Knock. Who`s there? Hadooouuuuuuu! Hadou who? KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN! PERFECT!!! Perfect Bonus: 38493483948394839483984 Skill 0000000 Your life 0 Bonus 9001

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what happened when u got some swag? i don't know u still don't have any

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a duck walked up to a lemon aid stand and he said to the man running the stand... quack

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his wife in the hospital. She has terminal cancer.

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How can you confirm that Saturday comes after friday, and that Sunday comes after Saturday? consult Rebecca Black.

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What did the woman with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A diagnosis.

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What is the biggest lie of 2011? "I do"- Kim kardashian

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What's green and frolics in the forest? A flock of cucumbers.

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How do chinese name their kids? They drop silverware

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What did the deaf blonde say to the brunette? Nothing.

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Hey whats sad about 4 black people going over a cliff in a cadillac. Nothing

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What do you call an awesome bucket? An epic pail.

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I recently found out I have aids just kiddin heres the real joke... I recenly found out that Philidelphia means "City of Brotherly Love" and I said so do people in philly say its always free hug day in Phillipd fun house in philly?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops