What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? Nothing, he doesn't have the ability to open a present.

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when push comes to shove, shove repeatedly explains to push that she needs to stop stealing his money and find a new place to live. Push then leaves, allowing shove to return back to his sofa and finish watching the basketball game.

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Yesterday I saw a blind man walking down the street, I asked if he needed help and he said "I'm fine thanks." Later on I saw a deaf man walking down the street and asked if he needed help. He didn't hear me, he then fell off the curb and was hit by a car.

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Why did Isaac cross the road? Because Jake did Why did Isaac cross the road? Because mum told him not to Why did Isaac cross the road? Because Maya was there

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If god gives you lemons keep the lemon go to the store and buy oranges to make orange juice.

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Knock, Knock! Who's there? Hatch! Hatchoo! Bless you!

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Roses are black violets are black I can't hear anything I'm Helen Keller .

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Bible Games aka Bible Buffet: SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEGAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Sometime after the death and return of Superma... Jesus. God: RAISE FROM YOUR GRAVE! Jesus slays holy white beasts: POWER UP! POWER UP! HOMO UP! Uh did he say homo u... ARGH! CANNOT CONTAIN LEVEL OF HOMO! TURNING FURFAG/ALTERED BEAST. A wild Saten appears!: WELCOME TO YOUR DOOM! Jesus used gay wolf punch, it was not very effective... wild Saten uses OMFG HE TEARS OFF HIS OWN HEAD AND THROWS IT AT JESUS! Its super effective! Jesus Dies. Moral: Second coming? He came back to meet his disciples and crap AFTER quoting "ill be back", did he promise some third coming? Is that why people have been waiting for over 2000 years? :P

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Want to hear a joke? I hope not because I don't know any.

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What did the girl say in her French lesson? Miss, I don't get it, its in a different language.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If I Had A Brick I Would Throw It At You

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What did the man say to th tiger? Nothing, a tiger is a dangerous and vicious animal. It then ripped him to pieces. Is family mourned after for a very long time till they came to grips with the death of the main income in their family. Aids

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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roses are red, violates are blue, you left me for David, I am about to kill you *bam* *bam**bam*

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Why did the black man wash his feet? PHOIT!!!! He washed his feet in a bird bath... Too bad his car got thrown off a cliff by a bald eagle with no feathers?

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What's long, hard and full of semen? A penis

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What's worse than a broke pencil TWO broken pencilz

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What did the black man say to the watermelon? Watermelon.

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Where's my tractor?

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What did the black boy get for Christmas? Black people don't celebrate Christmas.

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knock knock who's there? I'm here.

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I want some pudding. but I didn't have my meat. how can I have pudding?

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A frog jumped on the lilly pad, it sank and drown and all of the tadpoles didn't have a mother and inevitably died

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How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? you open the door and guide him inside

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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