What do you call a terrorist on 9/11? A terrorist.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How did the man escape the giant scorpion? He didn't he watched as his family died and waited for his demise crying in the corner of the scorpion's layer

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did Jesus cross the road? He didn't. He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How do you get a one-armed man out of a tree? you wave.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

-Your mom worked as a prostitute and died a virgin.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do you call a group of black men stampeding down a hill? Dangerous, so they should slow down!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Where would you find a dog with one leg? Possibly in a vet's surgery, or in an animal rescue home or being cared for by a loving owner.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

golf is so gay i mean look at what they name the different clubs 3 wood 4 wood 5 wood 6 wood just give it a beat and you got a catchy song

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q: Where is the One Piece? A: My girlfriend is wearing it.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do you call a black man throwing jars of flaming fruit preserves at a Jewish basketball player. MEXICO

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the ice cream man ask the little boy? Want some ice cream?

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Yo mama so fat, she was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes and has been instructed by her physician to exercise and regularly monitor her blood glucose levels.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Who enjoys hearty wank sessions with friends and long walks on the beach? David Cameron.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

what do you do when mrs curaba gets heated through a fridge at her so she can cool down

thumb_up thumb_down -25

knock knock who's there bob bob who bob marley who else

thumb_up thumb_down -25

how many blondies were at the mall? none they were too busy trying to find the sun.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Two tomatoes were crossing a road when one of them got hit by a truck. The other said, Carrot.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q:Why did the old man die? A:Because he had Cancer in his hole body.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

-What's funnier than a dog with no legs? -The movie Dumb and Dumber, in my opinion.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Steve: Ask me if I'm a tree. John: Are you a tree? Steve: No.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the biological child say to his adopted sister? We are both loved equally by our parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops