Reilly and Ross went up to fetch a pale of water when a triceratops turned them into bagels then ate them and later crapped them out....

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Why Did the man Commit suicide? His body used cellular respiration to make ATP (A form of energy) and his body used it to send electrical signals to his index finger to pull the trigger on his .357 Magnum, thus putting a bullet through the soft tissue in his brain causing his body to shut down Imediately!

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What do you get when you cross a bus full of cancer patients and a train full of children? A very sad train accident.

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Knock Knock: I have full blown AIDS

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what you get time to go with? - a clock

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why did the golfer ware two ares of paents. if he got a hole in one

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roses are red, violets are blue, dandelions are yellow, tulips are pink, sunflowers are black and yellow, my dick is 13 inches long.

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I can't hear you. I have carrots in my ears.

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How do u save a black person from drowning? Take ur foot off the back of there head

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AIDS

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A man gets a paternity test. It's better than beating his wife senseless due to his own insecurity.

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KONY 2012! *world rises up cheering in spontaneous patriotism for Africa* Leader of KONY 2012 arrested for public masturbation

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What's worse than getting a apple and finding a worm in it. Getting hit in the face with a meteorite.

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Q: What's the difference between a bird and a fly? A: A bird can fly, but a fly can't bird.

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What did the loser say to the winner? Good game

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Roses are red, violets are blue, my name is cartman, kyle you're a jew

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A man walks into an oven. He suffers severe burns and dies on a hospital bed

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why did Sally dance and record it on Vine? She did it for the Vine

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How do you stop a car from crashing into a wall? -You can't, you are welcome to try, but please don't.

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whats the difference between a ferrari in my garage, and a pile of dead babies in my garage. I do not have a ferrari but i do have a pile of dead babies

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Q: Why is little Timmy living without his parents? A: He is ninety seven years old!

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Women age like a fine wine: sediment develops as they lose their tannins, and earthy notes of oak and mineral develop in their flavor profile, giving them a lengthened finish.

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how many black people does it take to complete the simplest task such as washing their own hair? A shitload! thats why slavery was so populer back in the day. (and gays were big then to because they had to shower together to remember to wash their hair.)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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