Whats the difference between a dead baby and a lamborghini? Dead babies are not sports cars

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What do you call a girl with ADD and too much free time? Me

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Why did the puppy get shot? It lived in Detroit.

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Beans, beans the magical fruit. The more you smoke, the blacker your lungs get.

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Canadians

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Q: what's wrong with this sentence? My dogs is running in the garden A: I don't have a garden

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Why did the girl drop her ice cream? Because seeing as a bus was heading straight toward her, she quickly decided to sacrifice her frozen treat and dodge the oncoming vehicle in order to save her life.

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How do you kill Justin Beiber? By stabbing him 38 times in the chest.

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I hate weddings! Old people always poke u and say "ur next" so I've decided to do the same to them... At Funerals

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Q: What did the bulbasaur say to the charmanderr?? A: bulbasaurrr

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What did the three year old say when he dropped his milk? Shitting buggery!

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One spooky halloween night, three lonely outcasts walk down a dark street, no longer begging for candy. A cold wind blows through the night air and something rustles in a nearby bush one kid walks over to the bush and picks up his dog "OH THERE YOU ARE, BUDDY!"

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What do u call a bunch of white dudes siting on a bench ......the NBA

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What did the five fingers say to the face? Nothing. Fingers cannot talk.

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why wasnt johnny in math class?....he slipped and cracked his skull on his way there, he is now recovering at the hospital

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If life hands you melons, you might be dyslexic.

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? A read along book

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A man penetrates another man.

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Q:What does a wheel a triangle and a circle all have in common A:There all round, I lied about the triangle.

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What did the astronaut say when he stepped on the moon? Oops, sorry.

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What does the gay man do while he is taking a shower with many other men in a prison or a gym? Lathers soap all over his body to clean himself so he is not smelly.

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What did the Orange say to the Apple? Nothing. Both of them are lifeless objects, thus lacking the ability to speak.

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The Dane, the Norwegian and the Chinese where on a plane, and as the plane was malfunctioning, the pilot would shout: "We are overloaded! Toss out everything you can spare!" The Dane tossed out a box of Danish Salami, explaining they had enough of those in his country. The Norwegian tossed out a package of sweaters, explaining that they had enough of those in his country. Suddenly the Chinese jumped out without a given explanation, as time passed though, the surviving crew arrived to some conclusions... Moral: R.I.P Kim the 294834839483948th

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Why did the chicken cross the road It was being dragged to the other side by fox It's the way of life _._._

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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