Q:How do you kill an Elephant? A:With an Elephant gun Q:How do you kill a blue Elephant? A:With a blue Elephant gun. Q:How do you kill a purple Elephant? A:With a purple Elephant gun. Q:How do you kill a red Elephant? A:There is no such thing.

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Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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Why didn't the Irishman walk into the bar? Beacause he had killed himself the previous night as a result of his alcoholism.

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*Wear a Mario costume* What happened to Luigi? I ate him.

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A man walked into my repair shop asking why his TV didn't work. I told him it was broken.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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A cowboy rides into town and stays the weekend but then leaves on Wednesday, how is this possible? He was alive for the weekend and died on Sunday, his body left on Wednesday. Now get a job and be happy with your life.

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how many dead babies can you fit into a bath tub i dont know i didnt get the chance to fill it up yet

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What do you do when you're given a phonebook? You ask for their name.

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why did the guy laugh at everything he was high

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A man goes to the potty.

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What's the difference between a black man and a white man? The black man eats chicken.

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Its not a big mistake at all, if people do not want to get hypnotized you cant hypnotize them, or so I thought...

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Not gonna tell you, that was one weird story, I feel like super high right now.

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u r stupid! y? cuz u took the time 2 look at are jokes! haha lol

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Why couldnt the man buy food? Because.

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do you have snow in your vagina? because i am going to plow you

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What's black and white and read all over? Corn, I lied about everything.

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Why did little Sammy die of boredom? The WNBA was on

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Why can't sluts count to 70? Well, slut is a derogative term for prostitutes, and most prostitutes are people that had rough, often traumatising childhoods. Many ran away from home at an early age, thus leaving them devoid of a proper education.

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A man goes to the store to buy a kitten. While there, he decides to buy two because he is feeling particularly hungry.

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a man walks into a house. he gets shot in the leg and is brought to jail because he was a burglar and was trying to steal the family's tv.

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I wish you were never born. Me too. Then I wouldn't have been raped today.

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Did you hear about the man who went up into space without a space suit? He died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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