What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Mine.

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Jesus walks on water Chuck Norris swims through land

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Your momma has such a bad pancreas that it releases insulin into her bloodstream all the time. NOT just in response to glucose.

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So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

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what happened to the little kid on a bicycle? Nothing

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A black man has a woman up against a wall, and she is screaming. they are passionate lovers and he is pleasing her greatly.

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who has less of a soul then you? a ginger

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Why did the little girl cry in school? Because she remembered her parents were both in prison. She is in a state run foster academy.

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What is terrible and doesn't exist? This joke's punchline,

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why do asprins work? Because they're white

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why did the boy drop his ice cream? a terrorist dropped a bomb on him which turned into a transformer, raped him and then burried him inside of his refridgerator

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a man walked into a bar.the bar was metal and he cracked his skull

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he has no arms.

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Why wouldn't they give Helen Keller a driver's liscense? Because she was a woman.

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Your mother is so poor she doesn't have any money!

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What is better than getting a job? Getting a better job.

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Why doesn't Susie have a bike? She has no arms. Who pushed Johnny off a cliff? Definitely not Susie.

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You know what makes me sick? Bacteria

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What did steve do when jane asked him for a pencil? He gave her one.

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Steve, what do I write on a 3946 if more than two vehicles were involved?

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How do you stop the skunk from smelling, you rip it in half and bury the body therefore stopping the smells from escaping.

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What's the difference between a gluten free cereal and a regular cereal? One has gluten, and one has no gluten.

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What is the sun's favorite day of the week? The sun is a mass of incadescent gas and cannot feel emotions; therefore, it cannot have a favorite day of the week.

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why couldn't the bicycle stand up on it's own? because it was two tired

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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