What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He is suicidal and should probably get help.

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What's the hardest thing about eating a quadriplegic? The wheelchair.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swings? Because she didn't have arms or legs. Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Suzie

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Why did the chicken go cluck cluck oh baby yeah balloon your mama oops did kangaroo say? I had sex with your wife and stole your car keys.

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How do you make a nerd cry? Give him a 99% on a test.

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SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKY’S. PRETTY MUCH USELESS BUT MAKE YOU SMILE WHEN YOU PUSH THEM DOWN THE STAIRS. Source: http://www.pingzic.com/funny-whatsapp-status-to-make-others-laugh/

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a plane crashes on the boarder of america and mexico where do you bury the survivors. you dont bury the surviors

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Why did the blond cross the road? She needed to get to the shop as she'd run out of milk.

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Why don't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead!!!!

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A man walks into a vagina. The man, expecting a holiday inn, is very confused, and later gets mauled by five bears, who mistook his scent for a fish.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to take three harpoons to the chest and still manage to feast on a family of baby seals...... Hi my name is Joey

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Guy 1: Where's your dog Guy 2: I Dunno Guy 1: I ate it

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense? You watch a suspenseful TV program and pause at the right moment.

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My Japanese girlfriend dumped me today...Oh well, theres plenty more in the sea

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How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Any number if compressed sufficiently. At neutron star density all babies in the world would fit.

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whats short blonde and speaks spanish? my spanish teacher Mrs. Inman

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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What rhymes with car? Not kangaroo

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Why is yellow afraid of 7? Impossible. Colors have no sense of fear.

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When I was little I used to love to dig up worms. Out of my ass.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was raped when i was little.

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Old Macdonald had dyslexia IE IE O

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I suck at poetry. Nice tits.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops