What do you get when you cross Bambi and a ghost? Bamboo

How high is the sky? True or False

Hey I just met you and this is crazy but here's my chew toy throw it maybe!

Two People runs into a bar. They were thirsty.

What did the hooker say to the black guy? How long do you want it for?

Why did the garbage man cross the road? He was doing his job.

whats my name? Matt

jordan godfrey is good looking lolololol

Whats eight feet tall, purple, smooth, delicious, uses proper grammar, and likes dolphins. I don't know.

Whats 1 foot long and went in and out of my girlfriend? Our new baby

Mike: Johnny pass me the sauce Johnny: I can't pass you the sauce Mike: Johnny pass me the sauce Johnny: I can't pass you the sauce Johnny could pass Mike the sauce as he has no arms and Mike kept on asking as he has short onset alzheimer's.

Q: Why didn't Dwight D. Eisenhower play with the silly putty? A: Because he's dead.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay boys house. Knock knock! whose there? The chicken!!

Why was Allen late for work? He was mauled by a bear. Allen is dead.

Why did the car crash? The driver was female.

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because skeletons cannot live on their own and there is no such thing as a skeleton that can walk across roads without muscles.

Why did the bunny give you a funny look? It has epilepsy.

A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He than orders some drinks.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

I don't know which one is emptier my bank account or my love life

Q- what's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A- you take of your shoes to jump on a trampoline

Why cant Helen Keller driver? She's a woman

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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