how do you get a clown off a swing. hit it with an apple in his nuts

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie!

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What do you call a cow lying on a barn floor? A cow

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What does Adolf Hitler hate more than Jews? Nothing.

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick.

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how many jews fit in an oven? none, its illegal to put a person in an oven....

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What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

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Q: Why is Little Johnny in the hospital with a bullet wound and a broken arm? A: I shot him of his bike.

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monkeys that understand what people say dont understand what people say because they understand CC

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Why did the monkey cross the road? Because he saw the chicken do it.

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Friends are like trampolines, I always wanted a trampoline

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Guy- Wanna hear a joke about my dick? Nah, it's too long. Girl- Wanna hear a joke about my vagina? Nah, you'll never get it.

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How many men does it take to wallpaper a room? It depends on how big the room is and, to a lesser extent, how wide the strips of wallpaper are. Also factor in variables such as ambient humidity.

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Q: What's Funnier than a baby spinning around a pole at 300 MPH? A: Stopping it with a shovel.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. One of its legs is both the same

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what did the policeman say to an armed robber? you can go, as long as you don't hurt my doughnuts

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Q: Whats worse than spilling milk? A: Cancer Q: Whats worse than cancer? A: Rebecca Black

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Q: What do you call a barn full of black people? A: Antique farm equipment.

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What is the difference between a white man and black man who are facing each other? They have different rights.

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Roses are nice, Violets are glorious, Try not to scare, Oscar Pistorius.

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Why did Santa die? Because he got diabetes from so many cookies

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What's facial hair? Hair that slowly progresses to grow out of certain areas on your face.

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kids make accidents in the backseat of your car but u and your wife made an accident in the backseat and thats how you got that rottten troll that makes accidents in the car!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops