While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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What do you get when you mix 5 bottles of beer, a bottle of vodka, 3 glasses of red wine, and 15 jello shots? Alcohol poisoning.

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There are two angry guys in a park on their lunch break What do they do? They eat their sandwich and go back to work to settle a peace treaty.

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A boy tells his friend a 9/11 joke. The boy's friend says "Don't joke about 9/11, my dad died in it." "I'm sorry I didn't know.", responds the boy. "Yeah, that's the last plane he ever flew"

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How high is the sky? True or False

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven killed off his entire family.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Due to a lack of awareness of its surrounding, it died attempting to cross the road.

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What did the boy say to the girl? I like you hi.

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Whats big, grey, and cant climb trees? A carpark

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Why did Todd have intimacy problems? He was molested as a child.

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What's the one game that black people are good at? Flashlight tag.

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7 chickens ran down the road. One ate a spider. He is now the fattest chicken.

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How do you break your fan in the summer You dont its hot and you need it

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? He said "Get in the car".

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What is is one good thing about global Waming? Nothing.

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What do the angels say when god sneezes? Chuck bless you

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what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

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Katy Perry

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Do you know why one side of the V formation that geese fly in is longer than the other? Because there's more geese on that side.

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What is brown and sticky? A Stick

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, it won't come anyways.

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Whats red and bad for your teeth??? A brick!!!

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who lives a pineapple under the sea? a proper spazztwat.

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how many jews does it take to fit in a mid-size sedan? -5 comfortably.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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