Which brains do zombie like most? Zombies dont exist.

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Whats the difference between a watermelon and babies I don't have a pile of dead watermelon in my basement

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Menstrual jokes aren't funny. Period. Neither are 9/11 jokes. Just plane wrong Same with cripple jokes. Can't stand them I don't see why Helen Keller jokes are funny

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whats worse than dieing in an airplane? jumping out of the airplane to save yourself and emediatly getting shredded by the massive engine you did not have the wits to see.

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what did one toilet say to the other toilet? i would love to flush u

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

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A black man and a white man enter a public toilet. They both begin to pee at the urinals. The whiteman peers over to the blackman mid-pee. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype and then blushes embarassed by his own latent homosexuality. They both leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself to sleep later that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

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Reminding you of your religion. The army led by God attacked their foes at the mountains, yet had to flee because the enemy had plated steel wagons. Moral: Either God cant beat steel, or he was not there at all, its your call gents, because reading Ave Maria 50 times each time you sin, without reading the whole thing, does not even make you a Christian you FUCK (yes I can curse, you cannot)

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Q: Whats worse than running out of hot water? A: having wyatt friedman poop on your chest, Hit him up on FB

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Yes 59 10 away from my faverite number....... 49

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A man walks into a bar and says "ow"; he stepped on a nail sticking up through one of the floorboards. He then sues the bartender for a large sum of money because of the injury he sustained, and causes the bartender to lose everything he owns in order to pay off his debt.

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Why cant African children read? While there are many contributing factors the largest would probably be the lack of a standardized education system mainly due to the logistical factors involved in reaching so many wide spread communities. Also the current economic climate and general disregard for civilians by the governments in these area would suggest that the states' focus would be on other issues besides the welfare of their citizens, this is probably similar to other countries in similar situations such as middle eastern, eastern european, and latin and south america. Then again, not really being educated on this issue in almost any way, has probably contributed to a broad generalization, and so the premise of this joke is most likely flawed in any case.

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Why can no one in africa read or write? I would asume the lack of public education combined with the fact that setting up an education system for so many widespread remote comunities would be a logistical nightmare. But then again I have never been to africa and know little about the country and so the premise of this joke is probably a dramatic overstatement in the first place.

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A dinosaur walks into the bar, everyone panics in fear and confusion because it is a dinosaur and it's weird.

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You're so black that other black people make fun of how black you are.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i suck a poetry now show me your tits!!!

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Hey, do you want to play the rape game ? NO! That's the spirit

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What's green, grows in my basement, and if fun to smoke? Mold. I lied about it being fun to smoke.

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69 cents for a rainbow donut shaped as a 69....

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Roses are red violets are blue I want to F%$# you with a rake

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What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

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What do you call your mom after she brings a guy home from a bar? A very caring woman because she doesn't want him driving drunk.

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Why does Billy Mays yell? He doesn't, he's dead.

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he was on his wheelchair.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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