Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, Oh wait... I'm blind.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to, like any other chicken

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? 45 pounds. My girlfriend was a fatass. Wasn't gonna make that mistake again when I found a woman to marry.

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"HEY DUMB FU** THIS STUFF IS SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY!!!" SAID SIMON COWELL!!!

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Why did hellen keller's dog kill itself? You would to if your name was, AIIEEEEIUUUUHGH!

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An elephant walks in a bar. The bartender and everyone rushed out as soon as they saw the elephant

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What does a chocolate bar and a dolphin have in common? Nothing

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27

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Why did the man get frustrated searching through a box of forks? He was looking for a spoon.

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What did Joe get for his first birthday? Nothing he died at birth

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In Soviet Russia you don't drive car, because the Soviet Union was disbanded in 1991

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A pregnant woman walks into a bar and miscarries.

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What's worse than cancer? Nothing.

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Q: Where does Cher sit? A: I have no idea.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Just smoked some Meth nelnfjknfkjnwkejnkjnwefkjnKJNFKJRNFKWNEFEJNFJNWKEJNWFKEJFN

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why was their a child on the sun? There wasn't he would be incinerated

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Artists have unique minds and can rotate shapes within their mind. I'm going to masterbate.

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Q: What did Bobby get for his first birthday ? A: Adoption papers

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What do you call a man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk? A man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk.

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In Soviet Russia, millions die under an oppressive and uncaring regime that uses communism to justify its inhumane policies.

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Knock knock... Knock knock... Knock knock... Unfortunately, nobody was home to sign for Marks parcel.

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i have no freinds on facebook.... overated

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops