Why did the genie not grant the man his 3 wishes? Genies don't exist, only vampires live in lamps.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gilbert Gilbert who? Goddamn it David just open the door

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I like my coffee how I like my women Without a penis

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What happens when you give a fat man scissors? He cuts off the foreskin of your penis.

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Q: What do you call those assholes who always volunteer in lectures? A: Assholes. Fcuking assholes. They created the word asshole. Assholes

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What's worse than getting in a car accident? Being turned into dust and swarmed by bees while on fire

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What did the piano say to the guitar? "G, it's not A nice day. B careful, Dee." What did the guitar say to the piano? "F you!" What did the piano reply? "Eek! C you later!"

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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roses are red, violets are blue. Some poems don't make sense, Salad.

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Whats the difference between a white guy and a black guy? They have different colors of skin.

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roses are red violets are blue me + you =the perfect 2

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Why did Ben Franklin Invent Bifocals? He's a jive turkey.

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Is your Alzheimers getting better? I have alzeimers?...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to my house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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What falls down but never gets hurt? A professional stuntman wearing protective gear.

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Text this number just cuz 16305208722

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you go up your hole down your hole between your hole and you rock and roll

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a piece of string walks into a bar and the bartender says “sorry we dont serve your kind here” so the string goes outside twists himself round and ruffles up one of his ends then walks back into the bar, the bartender says “aren’t you the piece of string i just kicked out?” the string then replies “i’m a frayed knot”

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's orange and sticky? An orange. What's red and sticky? My stool - is that normal?

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why were the negros at whitney houstons funeral smiling? because there were free sandwiches!

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Robin, get in the car, please.

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what do you do when your girlfriend gives you head while playing MW3? continue to play while politely asking her sister to make you a sandwhich

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Q: How do get a person to leave you alone ? A: Suck out his eye-balls stuff them in your ears to muffle the sound of his screaming as you head-butt him into a fine paste. Then proceed to spread or squeeze sed paste on to delicious food substance and eat sed delicious food substance. Then carry on with the rest of your day like nothing happened. (P.S. Just ignore any letters about court cases or arrests)

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Whats black and white all over? Michael Jackson

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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