In the movie, Full Metal Jacket, my favorite part was when the entire platoon beat PVT. Pyle with hard soap while he was tied down. Actually I am lying. That part was extremely cruel.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What liquid is white and sticky and annoying to get on your hand? Glue.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock knock. Who's there? Andy. You're late, I've been piss-arsing about waiting for you to get here.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's black and white and red all over and can't go through a revolving door? A nun with a spear stuck in her head.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was the fat kid the last one to lunch? He'd had lead bricks stapled to his ankles by the skinny kids.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: why cant elvis draw a picture. A: cause hes dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

My favorite part of the movie Frozen is when the parents die.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

a horse walks into a bar, hours later it walks out on two legs and the man who saw it all happen couldn't believe his eyes. The man then turns to the bartender and says, "I theenk eye've had enuf, Cut me hoff!"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q:Whats a similarity between your mom and your dad? A:They both hate you -Ryan V

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A fish swims up your penis...

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a group with one Jew and three Germans? Friends

thumb_up thumb_down -5

"Roll back into the kitchen and imagine me a sandwich!" yelled the abusive husband to his paraplegic wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: Why was the balloon scared of unicorns? A: Buses dont exist therefore the balloon was just insane.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A bike.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Rape

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did Lucy have blond hair? Answer: Because both her parents had recessive hair traits.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A baby seal walks into a club. The man holding the club skins him and makes a lot of money.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

roses are red violets are blue porn hub is down your mums facebook will do

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you a call a black man in a two piece suit? A respectable citizen, racial profiling is ignorant.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

There once was a man from Dundee, Whose Limericks ended on line three. I don't know why.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops