How do you know if elephants are watching a movie? If a Volkswagen Beetle is parked outside the movie house.

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what did one barstool say to the other what theres a butt on me

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.. Why did the 2nd monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first moneky.. Why did the 3rd monkey fall out of the tree? It thought it was a game.. Why did the 4th monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure..

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Q: Why was the little girl upset? A: Because she drank a window cleanser, causing her vital organs to shut down, ending in a slow, painful, death.

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Knock knock Who's there? Chicken Chicken who? I can't believe you're talking to a chicken

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? He wanted to live a better life in pursuit of freedom and a better job.

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Q: Why do black people hate country music? A: Because every time they hear "hoe down" they think someone has shot their sister.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What has wheels and is green all over? Grass... I was just kidding about the wheels.

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What do your friends have in common with a tree? They both fall down when you hit them multiple time with an axe

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Caramel Boing.

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Why was the dyslexic cowboy crying when he came into school that day? He had chronic diarrhea.

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what do you call it when everyone becomes tolerant about gender identity. whatever pronoun it prefers.

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A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, did you know you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate replies, "Arrrgh, there's been a horrible nautical accident. Please call an ambulance immediately."

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Two Eskimos are in a bath tub. One says pass the soap. The other says no soap; radio.

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Q: Why did the little boy drop his toy? A: He fell and broke his wrist, then dropped it in the emergency room, due to the broken wrist.

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What colour is chocolate? Brown.

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oh whatever Greece isn't going to leave the eurozone shut up about it already

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What's the worlds most popular burger? The Krabby Patty

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How did the Jew survive the holocaust? He didn't, he died.

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Why did the prince kiss his beloved just before going into battle? Intermission.

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Roses are red Violets are blue i have a gun get in the van

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In other news, a Florida man was arrested today for stealing candy...with a knife.

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Whats worse than 10 babies nailed to one tree 1 baby nailed to 10

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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