You wanna hear a joke? Your dick.

What would happen if an unstoppable object hit and unmovable object? I don't know, I was just wondering

Yo mums so fat she went on a diet.

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What do and Asian and an orange have in common? They are both complex, carbon based life forms living on the only world in the universe known to harbor life.

Why cant African children read? While there are many contributing factors the largest would probably be the lack of a standardized education system mainly due to the logistical factors involved in reaching so many wide spread communities. Also the current economic climate and general disregard for civilians by the governments in these area would suggest that the states' focus would be on other issues besides the welfare of their citizens. Then again, not really being educated on this issue in almost any way, has probably contributed to a broad generalization, and so the premise of this joke is most likely flawed in any case.

what is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are people and regularly attend a synagogue and pizza is and italian food that many people find to be enjoyable to eat

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

Three nudists, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. No one finds it particuarly odd because the three are conscientious and wear appropriate clothing in public places.

A teenage girl walks into a bar. She sits down and watches the TV up against the wall. The bartender walks by and says "Hello, do you have I.D." The girl says "No, I'm just here waiting for my ride." The bartender then says "Well I'm sorry to have to tell you this but you gotta be 21 or over to sit in the bar." The girl says "Okay, but is there anywhere I can wait that is safe?" The bartender asks "Why?" and the girl replies "Well, I've been hiding from my ex boyfriend. I just broke up with him an hour ago. He was very controlling and he is still not over me. So now I'm here waiting for my new boyfriend." The bartender says "What you have a new boyfriend already? Maybe that's why your ex was angry." The girl says "yeah, I know, oh look there's my ride. It was nice talking with you, have a good night."

69

why shouldn't you hit a black guy on a bike? Cause violence is against the law

Whats black and white all over? Michael Jackson

Vagina Boob

Why didn't the boy eat chocolate yesterday Because he was allergic.

Henry's mom packed Henry sweaters And lots of things besides sweaters Henry went to war He saw lots of gore Logically, he wouldn't need a sweater because he had to wear his uniform during the battle. Did i mention that Henry likes chocolate?

What do you get when you cross a chicken and a turkey? Just a sort of mixed bird thing.

KNOCK KNOCK WHOSE THERE? AVOCADO AVOCADO WHO AVOCADO COLD THAT'S A RETARD JOKE HAHAHAHAHA GOOD 1

A horse walked into a bar, and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?". The horse replied, "It's evolutionarily efficient to have an elongated skull so that I can eat vegetation with ease."

Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? I've often heard that a room with a million monkeys with a million typewriters, given enough time; would eventually reproduce the complete works of Shakespeare. This seems to suggest that if something has an extremely low chance of happening, it will still eventually happen if enough attempts are made. However, I feel that the aforementioned scenario, given enough time to play out, would only result in a room full of dead monkeys. Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

Q:Whats the hardest part about eating a vegetable A:The Wheelchair

What did the rich white student to the poor arabian teacher? good morning Mr.Stevenson.

Knock knock Who's there? Interrupting doctor. Interrupting doct- You have cancer.

Rampage, on the streets of the poor. Secrets finally leaving, escaping, rummaging out from the land and sea of unforgiven people. A loud shatter erupts from the roaring streets filled with silence, the people are coming. Engulfing the city. Red, blue, orange and yellow. Explosives and gun fire and blood flowing down into the drains, mixing innocent blood with the impure water. Violence, detonating everywhere. I see fire everywhere. Once a family home now a lost memory which cannot be found. Everything is burning, life and love. The streets not painted with red. It's soothing the sidewalk. Hush now. A shadowy night. It's whispers reaches all corners of the earth... 'The war is over' Blue skies light up the back lanes, darkness retreating back under its box of everlasting mystery They fought a war We are fighting one too (first letter of each line + final 2 lines are the last two lines of the original poem etc)

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


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MOAR??

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