Who ate my sandwich? The office appliance that fell from the sky.

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Okay lord and master, now get lost, I am trough with you, I have other things to get done, XD My nose is so itchy XD

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Why's it so bad to be black and Jewish? You have to sit in the back of the oven.

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What do you call a smart phone that doesn't want to work? The first conscious phone ever

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I'd rather kill myself than commit suicide.

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What happened to the boy with cancer? He died

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Why was the drunk man arrested? he beat his wife and was sentenced too 3 months in federal prison

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What does a man want more than sex? Nothing.

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i like my coffee like i like my women. without a penis

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Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo. The prior sentence is a grammatically correct sentence in American English.

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How much weight can an ant carry up a mole hill? Ice cream has no bones.

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A man from timbuktu slept on a bed of nails. It was very uncomforable

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King Triton: "As much as it pains me to lose you, Ariel, I want you to be happy with your prince..." Ariel: "So why don't you just turn Eric into a merman?" King Triton: "Good idea."

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reading the dumbass things that people come up with as an answer.

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You're a frog

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727-8088-954 Call Me. Say your name is Nick whether or not your a guy or a girl.

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy this song doesn't rhyme penis

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How does Michael J. Fox mix his paint? He uses the paint mixing stick that is provided, for free, by most reputable hardware stores.

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I america you read books. But in Soviet Russa, Books read YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

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A black man walks into a movie theatre... And pay for a ticket that would grant him access to watch the verity Of movies available to watch that month of screening. He picks the warhorse which was critically acclaimed by many respected critics. He watched and observed the positive and negative points of the the film. When it ended he took a long a ride home on the number 76 bus to ibswitch road where he lived during that time, and wrote about his opionion on the movie and how he thought the movie could be improved. He done this same routen for another six months, every saturday, until he died of aids shorty after a homosexual fling.

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A man sees another man sitting on a bench with a pickle in his ear. He asks the man "Why do you have a pickle in your ear?" The other man replies "What? I couldn't hear you because I have a pickle in my ear."

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Whats grosser than a bloody hand? 2 bloody hands.

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Why did the boy fall off the purple cliff? Because someone cut of his legs and arms and threw him off.

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Well... My reputation is still kinda exaggerated apparently. What you experienced is called astral projection, some people claim it is the same as lucid dreaming, I beg to differ, the difference is vast. You basically just admitted that people believe much more in you, than you believe in yourself, without believing hypnosis does not work, people are like "bah its just suggestions", its true, but underestimating the power of suggestions is a pretty bad call.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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