- Anti Joke

roses are red violets are blue, were stuck to gather like superglue in tell you get the flu, then I'm not touching you :)

what has hair and can fly? a human.. i lied about the flying.

What did one Japanese man say to the other? I don't know, I don't speak Japanese.

Knock Knock Who's there? Your physician, you're going to die.

you got Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift, and Reese Witherspoon. Which do you think is more succesful

why did the roof cave in? It was not structurally sound do to poor architecture

What's the reason my dog died? I ate him.

How do you treat someone that is feels like a total failure? Treatment: Okay, draw a square on the board over there, but in order to succeed, you must fail at it. Patient one: Oh, I drew a cicrle :( Patient two: I drew a square :( Congratulations one you succeeded at failing! Now get outta here. Congratulations patient two, you succeeded at the given task, bye bye.

Why couldn't the pirate play poker? Poker is a tricky game - maybe he'd never been taught how to play.

What do you call a black man sitting on a porch? Relaxed.

The Big Band Theory

You know the drill, the world is not as black and white as it was before, just because we are not on the same side, does not make us enemies either. As for whatever is going on, I can assure you I had nothing to do with the fall of the first underground, and neither will I make sure whatever you scraped together, large or small falls either, I realize I should have thought this trough some more, but we had little time to act on this one.

What's a ghost's favorite color? Usually whatever their favorite color was in life.

What happened to Grant when he did a cart wheel? Chuck had sex with Victoria

Your mamas so fat, that any level of physical exercise is strenuous, but also mentally challenging, as she feels that there is a negative astigmatism attached to sweaty, red-faced overweight individuals trying to burn those pounds. This in turn makes her ashamed of the gastronomically decadent life she once lived, and so she doesn't have the confidence to try and reverse the damage she did during those insecure teenage years, instead comforting herself with the sugary, fatty bane of her life. She therefore lives in a vicious circle, angry at herself and the society that won't accept her. But remaining incredibly, repulsively fat.

Wanna hear a story bout my uncle turza.... My uncle turza was eating fruit loops one day and there was a squirrel in the trre from 2 days ago he got angry because the spoon was from the phillipines so he punched a whole in the wall and his half uncle cousins sister had a cage.... True story

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Laughter is the best medicine. Not for cancer.

People thought hitler said "I want to burn the jews" he really said "I want a glass of juice".

Roses are red, My name is Dave, This joke is pointless, microwave.

A black person tans and starts to peel, what do you get? A white person.

What did the dyslexic boy get for Christmas? A laptop. And he was very happy.

How do you kill a priest? Shoot him in the forehead.

Pineapple.

Roses are red, violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's cheese on toast